News flash! Some bad pick-up lines can actually work to land yourself a new lady friend – and you know you want a new lady friend. So like a lion pacing the Savannah, you go to the target rich environment of your choice looking for love. If you are 5’2, 250 this advice will not help. Sorry old chap. If you are a young George Clooney, you don’t need help. But if you are reasonable looking single guy or simply an unfaithful bastard, here are some time tested lines and some analysis of each.

1. “Let’s have breakfast tomorrow, should I call you or nudge you?”

An oldie but a goodie. Ranks low on the originality scale since its been ripped off a thousand times. If your girl doesn’t understand what you are implying, you will later be able to hook up with other girls in front of her and tell her “It wasn’t me”.

2. (Checking her shirt tag) “I just wanted to see if you were made in heaven.”

Always gets a laugh. The extremely hot ones have probably heard it before, so be aware you might look like a cheese danish. It won’t seal the deal, but it could get things headed that way.

3. “How are you getting home/What are you doing later?”

Always fun to use as the bar is closing. Passive-aggressive to be sure, it can lead to unexpected answers from your chosen one, so be ready for anything. Potential replies include, “Why? Do you need a ride?” to “We’re going to IHOP.” Any mention of going to bed can lead to more innuendo on your part.

4. “You are the only Ten-I-see.”

Best used in Nashville, or on Lady Volunteers. Let’s them know where you are coming from, and makes sure she know this isn’t on the friendship tip.

5. “Let’s rub peanut butter all over each other and see what happens.”

Slightly more aggressive than the other offerings on our list. It leaves no confusion as to your intentions. It does leave the door open for a decent chance of getting slapped. But if she has been secretly rubbing your crotchial region all night, this can be used to see if she is ready to get weird.