Sex Terrorism at Union College

By Robbbery

This past weekend I returned to my alma mater, Union College, for my first alumni weekend. On Saturday afternoon, I awoke hungover, grabbed breakfast, and rolled over to the football game.

I must admit, I really didn’t pay attention to the game. Watching our football team play is like walking in on your parents having sex – you do it once and then never repeat the experience. The only reason we went was for the beer truck which was dishing out free Saranac. Why weren’t we treated like this when we were paying 40k a year?

Anyway, I heard this really f**ked up story while I was at the game getting loaded. Apparently, some chick on our campus had a bad break with her boyfriend and schemed up a way to get the poor dude back. This chick actually convinced her friend with herpes to seduce the poor guy into unprotected sex.

What an evil bitch! Honestly, who uses their friend as a biological weapon to give someone an STD?

If someone knows who this girl is, punch her in the face for me. She’s no better than Saddam, except he never even HAD biological weapons. Let alone used them on Americans.

This is just another reason to always wrap it up. You could be susceptible to a terrorist attack.