In Maryland, Orange Pumpkins = Kid-Touchers

By COED Staff

In a half-assed attempt to keep children from having contact with violent and child sex offenders this Halloween, Maryland is requiring 1,200 felons in the state to put up a poster of a, get this, orange pumpkin, to be the ‘Scarlet Letter’ warning to parents and children not to trick-or-treat at that house.

Granted, the sign also says “No Candy at This Residence,” but you’d think something slightly more threatening might be in order when the safety of children is on the line. Like, you know, maybe a poster of an adult attacking a kid, or at least a scary goblin or something, if they’re going to insist on the warnings doubling as a holiday decoration. Not to mention all the other, non kid-touching people with all types of orange pumpkin decorations all over their houses.

In addition to putting up the signs, sex offenders must also “stay at home, turn off outside lights and not answer the door,” said a letter by the state to all registered offenders, obtained by the Washington Times.

But it’s not just to protect the kids. It’s to help the sex offenders, too. “Halloween provides a rare opportunity for you to demonstrate to your neighbors that you are making a sincere effort to change the direction of your life,” says the letter. Yeah, and maybe next time, they’ll ask one of them to babysit…And let’s not forget, not all sex offenders are all that bad…