
After posting our 52 Best Natural Breasts of All-Time, much debate erupted over whose lady lumps were real and who’s were more fake than a campaign promise. To some, the difference between real breasts and fake breasts couldn’t be more obvious. But with advances in plastic surgery, it’s getting harder and harder for anyone to tell the difference. Still, a few details exist that can expose which one’s are all-natural and which were made in a factory. So read on and never be fooled again!
Find out How to Tell if She Has Fake Boobs after the jump!
(Click photo to view gallery)
Feel
All you really need to do is touch them to be able to tell if she’s had “some work done.” But let’s be honest, you’re not going to have that opportunity very often and definitely not with most of the chicks you’re checking out. But if you do get to cop a feel, fake breasts will be much more firm than the real thing, almost hard inside. Not such a big deal when they look good, but who wants to play with a couple of balloons filled with crap?
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(Click photo to view gallery)
Shape
Breasts, thankfully, come in every shape and size. But real breasts are never perfectly round. If she’s standing upright, most real breasts will be round at the bottom, peak at the nipple and flat on top. But if it looks like she’s smuggling a couple of grapefruits under her sweater at all times, those puppies are fake.
Larger breasts will sag over time, so if she’s sporting double-Ds and they’re holding up her chin without a bra, they’re fake. Smaller breasts, which are less affected by gravity, can maintain a nice round shape, but nobody gets implants smaller than a C-cup (a little more than a handful), so if she’s got B’s or less, count on those being real – and awesome!
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(Click photo to view gallery)
Hang
Telling whether or not breasts are fake when they’re tragically stuffed in a bra can be especially difficult, since you don’t get to see their true shape. Which brings us to the Hang. When a girl with real ones bends over or leans forward, they go forward too, away from the body.
If they’re big enough, they should start to look kind of like a water balloon held at the knot, getting more bulbous at the bottom, when looking at them from the front or the side. Fake ones, on the other hand, will get ripples or bumps in the skin toward the bottom of the breasts, created by an unnatural pull on the skin. So if it looks like her ta-tas are about to be ripped off by gravity, she’s trying to fool you.
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(Click photo to view mildly NSFW gallery)
Flop
When a woman lies on her back, her boobs should change shape. If they look like they’re standing at attention, they’re fake – no question about it. If they’re real, they’ll flatten-out, at least a bit, and sag to the sides, toward her armpits. This one is hard to see in pictures, since most models hold their boobs together to keep this from happening and make them look bigger – and faker – for the photo.
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(Click photo to view full photo)
Nipple
One of the best ways to tell if her t*ts are fake is to look at the nipples. A number of things can go awry with these little pleasure buttons. (COED’s a SFW site, so you won’t see many of those here – sorry…) First, if her nipples aren’t symmetrically placed on the boobs, there’s a good chance the boobs are fake; unaltered nips grow more or less in the same spot on both breasts not like this: (*)(.) And of course, if the nipples are constantly harder than diamonds, the boobs probably cost as much as one.
Also, implants are often inserted through a lesion around the nipple, so if she’s got a scar here (or in the armpit, around the bottom of the breasts or even the near the belly button), then the mystery is probably solved. However, some women who’ve had lumps removed from their breasts for medical reasons can have a similar scar, so you better give those bad boys a feel, just to be sure.
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(Click photo to view gallery)
Motion
Real breasts move. They jiggle and sway and swing. And we love every single second of it. Fake boobs, on the other hand, don’t do a damn thing. Unfortunately, you can’t tell how a set of knockers knock just by looking at (most) pictures. So this doesn’t do you any good there.
But if you can see the lady in question in action, watch for what the breasts do during any quick movements. If she’s kept what her momma gave ‘er, then they should heave, change shape and yes, bounce. If they don’t, they’re fake. But in the end, boobs are boobs and, fake or not, we’re always happy to have a pair around.
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So that pretty much sums it up. But here’s a couple more tidbits to keep in mind: Real boobs change size all the time, depending on the time of the month, hormones, diet, health, weight, etc…So just because they look small one day and big the next doesn’t mean she got a boob-job – she might just be getting a ‘visit from Aunt Flo.‘
Also, women with implants often cannot breastfeed, so if you think Angleina Jolie has fake ones, you are (thankfully) mistaken. And because of a loss in body fat (which breast partly are) women who are extremely athletic rarely have big ones unless, of course, they’re not real. So memorize these few perameters (and the ones above) and you’ll be able to spot a fake pair from a mile away.
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Phil says:
Mon, 13th Oct 2008 7:51 pm
Good thing my gf’s boobs are real
Joe says:
Mon, 13th Oct 2008 8:42 pm
I want my five minutes back.
cort says:
Mon, 13th Oct 2008 8:54 pm
Actually women with implants can breastfeed if the implants were done correctly by a skilled surgeon. It doesn’t always work but it is a possibility. Just thought I’d clear that up.
Richard says:
Mon, 13th Oct 2008 9:19 pm
Women with implants can breast feed, ala Christina Aguilera.
becks says:
Tue, 14th Oct 2008 9:18 am
Just thought I’d say that fake boobs aren’t that bad until they ripple on the side…that’s the worst. I thought about getting them until I saw that happen in porno. It looks nasty. Also, here’s a tip girls, once I started taking birth control pills I went up almost a cup size so try that before surgery.
Question, based on the roundness rule, would y’all say that Lindsay Lohan has had implants? I thought they were real but now I don’t know.
bill says:
Tue, 14th Oct 2008 11:04 am
52 greatest all natural breasts, and Carmen from Camwithher.com is not on the list? You need to seek immediate medical attention, Carmen’s rack puts most on your list to shame
Just Jen says:
Tue, 14th Oct 2008 11:35 am
It’s breast *reduction* surgery that is likely to affect the baby-feeding functionality of breasts. Implants are perfectly compatible with breastfeeding.
Timmer says:
Tue, 14th Oct 2008 1:28 pm
I prefer the taste test.
kate says:
Tue, 14th Oct 2008 8:29 pm
I call bullshit.
I have fake boob and have had people see and feel them and still ask if they are real or not.
theres a huge difference depending on what size and shape the implant is and if its placed above or under the chest wall.
jrdn says:
Tue, 14th Oct 2008 9:20 pm
meh my gf has fake boobs, but i dont care.. they look good and theyre still fun to suck on ;D
g says:
Wed, 15th Oct 2008 6:07 am
I want my five minutes back as well, I personally don’t like fake boobs but then again they got some pros and some cons
you idiots says:
Wed, 15th Oct 2008 2:42 pm
you guys are over complicating things, the fake/real breast test only requires answering one question:
can you touch them?
if so, they are real…
DC says:
Wed, 15th Oct 2008 4:16 pm
It’s easy to spot fake t*ts a mile away. frankly, girls, PLEASE stop getting these. I’d rather have a SECURE, CONFIDENT woman with A cups over an insecure woman who thinks DDs that feel like those red kickballs we used to play with in school are even remotely attractive. Note to women: THEY LOOK BAD. Honestly, I wonder what glasses these girls are looking through when they think they look better with bolt-ons. YOU DON’T. We can tell and they’re unattractive to say the least.
Paradym says:
Fri, 17th Oct 2008 9:56 am
Hey DC:
While I completely understand your proclamations, I would caution you against being so adamant. Consider women who have had injury or surgery, or whose breasts are so asymetrical or saggy that their self-esteem is fighting an uphill battle. Breast enhancement can help them feel whole and confident again. For good or bad, a woman’s breasts are a symbol of their femininity and out there for all to see, so it can really tear a person down if they’re really self-conscious about them.
If men’s penises where as visible and on display as breasts, I bet there would be quite the waiting list for penis enhancement surgery. You may dismiss a woman because she got a boob job, but consider that you may have dismissed an incredible person.
DC says:
Fri, 17th Oct 2008 5:29 pm
Paradigm, I certainly wasn’t directing my comments at women who’ve NEEDED implants for reasons such as cancer surgery, etc. I’m talking about the rest. To me, it’s a red flag. Sorry.
DL says:
Fri, 17th Oct 2008 6:07 pm
One other way -
“Ask”
most chicks are proud of their fake tits. The others will just think you’re cocky and laugh.
If they answer in the affirmative, ask if you can check them out, directly. I’ve even said “hey let me see the scars.” Once again, the chicks are proud of them. Take it from me, it works more often than you think, and if you have known them at all (say, more than a week) I’d say chances are good you’ll get a flash.
simisola says:
Sat, 18th Oct 2008 9:18 am
Are you kidding me? Listen. If she lies down and her “breasts” sit on her chest like a couple of grapefruit halves sewn under her skin, they’re fake. Seriously. That’s all there is to it.
Drew says:
Tue, 28th Oct 2008 10:40 pm
Fake Boobs are disgusting, and obnoxious…and more often than not, valued by shallow women whose self-esteem can only be boosted if cave-men are gawking at them. Looking at them is like looking at a circus side-show…it’s freakish.
kev says:
Thu, 30th Oct 2008 12:29 am
Real or Fake as long as thier not ome kinda 56 FFFF or something like that then just lay back and enjoy
Lauren says:
Sun, 2nd Nov 2008 2:52 am
Personally, I think being “all natural” is the way to go. However, its a tough business in modeling and acting, so a lot of girls feel they need to or have to get enhancement/surgery to make it in the business. Not all natural boobs are perfect like you see in the photos online or in magazines. That’s why some women need the “boost.”
There is a lot of pressure on women to look perfect and with more women getting breast implants (and getting them to look almost flawless), men actually see more implants than real breasts and expect “flawless” look with other women!
J says:
Wed, 5th Nov 2008 4:35 pm
I dated a girl with gorgeous fake breasts for a while… she had gotten them for a confidence boost after being flat her whole life, but now she’s a little self-conscious because she’s well into her 30s and they look a little too perfect and perky. I loved them, though…. to the touch, yeah, they were clearly fake and too “tough” to be real titties. But they sure looked good when she was naked and/or riding me.
nihar ranjan boruah says:
Thu, 6th Nov 2008 2:49 am
i want to see the huge boobs
Bob says:
Sat, 8th Nov 2008 9:55 am
You have pretty good facts for some boob jobs, and bad ones at that. If you go to a reputable boob man (or woman), get silicone, placed under the muscle, and appropriately sized for the frame, I would challenge any of those hints. A good boob job, feels real(awesome actually), hangs properly, and most of all looks GREAT.
ali gali says:
Mon, 10th Nov 2008 10:28 am
sex rapide 1
olz says:
Wed, 12th Nov 2008 9:13 am
yea man i’m with Joe on this one.Five minutes back please.
If someone gets work of that nature done for aesthetic purposes rather then medical they need alot more than a bigger chest to sort their problems out. If thats what nature/god intended dont go fookin about with it hey. Pretty sure guys just like boobs anyways.
Weddrannadego says:
Sun, 30th Nov 2008 6:33 pm
Nice site thanks!
simple site.
Artis86 says:
Thu, 4th Dec 2008 6:46 pm
I like all women but I prefer big breasts no disrespect,
by the way does any one know how many different names are there for breasts.
Jorn says:
Sun, 7th Dec 2008 3:49 am
Lauren says: “men actually see more implants than real breasts and expect “flawless” look with other women!”
Correction – men actually see more implants than real breasts and women tell other women than men expect “flawless” look. Because women hate other women.
The next woman who tells me that men are responsible for the godawful “ideal” look that women abuse and mutilate themselves trying to acheive is getting punched in the face.
Seriously. Right in the face.
operatores says:
Sat, 20th Dec 2008 2:46 am
and the best boobs of the world are those of Petra Verkaik
Shauna says:
Fri, 5th Jun 2009 3:21 am
Jorn- I just had to laugh. I agree you with you though. Women are more or less responsible for what other women want to look like.
to the real/fake, as long as she’s happy and won’t regret it down the track, does it really matter? It’s just boobs.
Quankers says:
Sun, 7th Jun 2009 5:52 pm
Real boobs on an imaginary girl? That makes no sense.
Phil says:Good thing my gf’s boobs are real
girlfawkes says:
Tue, 9th Jun 2009 5:22 am
Women with implants obtained in the USA in the last 15 years can ALMOST ALWAYS breastfeed.
Helena says:
Sat, 13th Jun 2009 11:36 pm
I like my natural DDs, thanks
Jess says:
Sun, 14th Jun 2009 11:20 pm
Speaking as someone with natural DDD’s, I’d have to say this article was amusing to say the least. I have nothing against women who feel a need to enlarge their breasts but personally I say natural are the way to go. Men respond more to soft pillows then hard rocks. And no matter how good of a boob-job it is, silicone is harder then natural tissue.
If anything, when I get a bit older, I’ll consider breast reduction surgery, just to combat the sag!
None says:
Fri, 19th Jun 2009 10:47 pm
Simple way to find out about real vs. fake. Go to a friendly strip club in Miami, Tampa or Memphis. Find one stripper with fake and one with real boobs. Feel and suck away for one song each. You’ll then know the difference.
Chris says:
Mon, 29th Jun 2009 12:42 am
Jorn, you are absolutely correct. I hate how women these days will spend hours working out because they ate a chocolate bar or spend an hour in tears because they ate one too many slices of pizza. It’s ridiculous. I would MUCH prefer a girl who had some curves to her and didn’t spend her whole goddamn life keeping her body to some imaginary ideal that seems so prominent in today’s society.
ON TOPIC – I really don’t care what size a girl’s breasts are; the size isn’t what matters, as long as they’re real of course. I would take a girl with real A cups over fake boobs of any size. Unless, as was previously stated, she required them due to cancer/surgery/other illness.
Anna says:
Mon, 29th Jun 2009 8:21 am
Girls have their priorities mixed up sometimes.
Fake breasts are nice to look at and perfect looking. That’s
what porn is. It’s fake and perfect looking…but it does serve a purpose.
Girls feel pressure to look beautiful, sexy and perfect due to media, porn and other girls. Girls are just as competitive as men for attention, even if it’s only sexual attention.
If a someone truly loves a woman, they will cherish her body for what it is and find it perhaps to be the most amazing thing in the world. Doing it because it’s necessary for medical reasons is fine. But doing it due to the need to get attention from men, will probably make them see you more as a sex object than anything else.
Girls need to stop thinking that a sensible person wants a porn star.
Unfortunately, a lot of men want to just have sex and not have to deal with a real relationship. Then again,a lot of women think that way as well these days.
Someone who really loves you or cares about you will not mind that you’re skinny, curvy, small-chested, ect.
If you want someone who will be there for you, respect you, and love you, then you should start respecting yourself enough to know that these types of people don’t want a porn star.
On the topic- I wouldn’t get fake ones myself, and I’m against them because they’re not natural. I think they’re great to look at, and I appreciate the visual appeal.
Rogue says:
Wed, 1st Jul 2009 1:37 pm
I don’t know if it has been mentioned or anyone reads these…but last night my co-worker showed me how implants will “glow” in the bathroom. if the lights are off, you can out a flashlight under the boob and an implant will make her boob glow orange-y. real boobs won’t light up.
Lady-D says:
Thu, 2nd Jul 2009 2:05 pm
I thank God for my natural DDD’s I don’t have to worry about the after effects of fake boob surgery….and if I want them smaller I can have that done anytime, easily:)
Aleander says:
Sun, 5th Jul 2009 2:40 pm
I’d like to meet Jess or Lady D
It’s all about the tig ol bitties, and fake = bs.
Znakomstva says:
Tue, 7th Jul 2009 3:35 am
Shape the implant is and if its placed above or under the chest wall.
Ben Carey says:
Tue, 7th Jul 2009 7:43 am
You guys are doing a fantastic service. God bless!
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