Dear McDonald’s, WTF Do You Have Against Breakfast?
September 18, 2008 Posted in Entertainment
Dear McDonald’s,
Are you people retarded? For some reason, anytime I try ordering breakfast at a McDonald’s after 10:30am, I can’t get it–something about having to “get ready for lunch.” (Sorry, but not all of us are 78-years-old and get up at 4:30 in the f**kin’ morning.) Now, I’m not quite sure what you have against serving breakfast, or what kind of crack you’re smoking, but whatever it is, this bullsh*t has got to stop.
First, let me fill you in on a little secret–the only thing worth eating at your “restaurant” is breakfast. At the very least, it’s the best thing you serve–when you serve it. But as it stands, I end up in the same idiotic argument every time I walk through your double-doors on sixth avenue–both covered with big green signs boasting “Breakfast till 11AM,” I might add.
Normally uncrowded at this time, I walk right up to the counter where I’m greeted by a half-alive button-jockey who couldn’t give a f**k less what I have to say.
“Hi, I’d like two sausage biscuit meals with sweet tea, two chicken biscuits and three chocolate chip cookies,” I say, hoping for the best.
“Uh…we…uh, one second,” the heavy-eyed 19-year-old says, without fail. I already know what’s coming.
“We don’t have any sausage biscuits left,” he says, shuffling back.
“Yes, you do.”
“No, sir. We’re out.”
“No, you’re not out. This is McDonald’s you’re never out. Now please, make me my food.”
“We’re out, sir.”
“You’re not out. You have an entire freezer of food in the back. Make me my food.” At this point, the ugly polo-shirted, half-there-schmuck stops paying attention to me entirely, deflecting my demands to the manager who’s closely ignoring the whole thing with her face crammed in a three-ring binder. Feeling what I can only imagine is some sort of middle manager version of The Force, she immediately looks up in my direction.
“Sir, it’s 10:45,” the manager says to me after I repeat my audacious request for food.
“Yes, exactly. That’s before 11am!”
“I know sir, but there’s not room.”
“No room? Look, I don’t give a sh*t about room. You have signs everywhere advertising ‘Breakfast till 11am’” I say in a subdued rage, while pointing around at the 15 or so signs proving me correct. “Now make me my food.”
“Ok–but you’ll have to wait for it to cook,” she says, to add the last stipulation.
Of course I’ll have to wait for my food to cook, I think to myself, forgetting that McDonald’s is only “fast food” because you reverse the ordering process, making the food before the customer tells you they want it. Which is why we’re in this whole bind in the first place.
If you would just stand by your word and actually serve breakfast until 11:00, I could deal. But instead, you shut down the best part of your menu fifteen minutes early to make room for the mediocre horse sh*t you serve the rest of the day.
How about this for an idea: serve breakfast the whole time, non-stop. I know you might have to cut down on your half-assed burger production, but who gives a sh*t? A chicken biscuit and a couple of hash browns blow that other crap out of the water.
The absurd thing is, I’m writing you this letter because I’m trying to be a customer. I would never get tired of McDonald’s if you served breakfast all day. But as it stands, I’m stuck throwing my flailing arms down in failure, turning and walking out the doors without my food, realizing that it’s just some greese-filled suedo-food that’s just going to give me the sh*ts in a couple of hours, anyway…
So the next time you send out a company training memorandum or whatever the hell you do, please tell all the dickwads running your restaurants to serve breakfast all the way till 11. And when you implement your “Breakfast All Day!” campaign and make a butt-load of cash, I’ll be expecting at least a thank you.
Have an Amazing V-Day
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I applaud you for this. McDonalds MUST change their ways!!!!!!
My friend played an evil joke on me and told me he heard McDonalds was going to be serving breakfast all day, but it turned out to be a terrible lie.
Since you are apparently the only person there demanding to be served breakfast at 10:45 in the morning I can see why they don't serve breakfast all day. When they can sell 60 trillion crap burgers all day they don't care that .00001 percent of their customers want breakfast.
STILL if they are touting breakfast until 11am they damn well better come up with some breakfast food at 10:45.
McDonalds is not going to cater to the post 10:30 breakfast crowd when they don't have to. Just forget about it ever happening.
You could could just get on with your day, realize that most contributors of society wake up earlier than 10 AM, and stop with the rant of petty issues.
Did you ever try taking your money elsewhere?
or become a restaurant manager and find a better way to run the place?
or find a less bias filled way to convey a story?
What is this, the Family Guy episode where Peter goes to Cheesy Charlie's, cancels Stewie's party (because he was a dumbass), and then goes to tell Lois that the manager was satan who's employees kill children for not winning enough tickets?
It sounds familiar.
^I get up at 2pm everyday is that a problem?^
Only if you think all businesses should adjust their hours to meet your schedule.
Are You People FUCKED- He said he went for Breakfast at 10:30 and they said fuck off – WTF – If breakfast at McDonalds is until 11:00 Then it should be until 11 – WTF is wrong with you people- I apologize if you people sounds like ross perot talking to black people- I only meant YOU PEOPLE as being stupid fucking people that think that 10:30 is 11 o'clock when it comes to mcdonalds breakfast. – sorry to you people that don't apply.
yeah I have been saying do breakfast 24 hours and make much more money. or, like they do in Asian countries do this 24-hour McDelivery stuff and just have breakfast delivered to your home.
you are lucky…they end breakfast at 10:30 where i am and pull the we're out thing at 10:15
Well first of all I apologize not all McDonalds are like the one you speak of.
Second of all, not everyone that works at at place like that is stupid and full of shit. Some people need that place as a stepping stool for life and really could care less about some fucking 60 something year asshole trying to start shit about a 20 profit (that you will be making them)
Third McDonalds doesnt serve breakfast for 24 hours (or while store is open all the time) because its not cost effective, nor do most have the equipment to do such.
I have worked at many, and none of the time have they stopped serving breakfast before they are done. AKA if they say 10:30 they mean 10:30, if its backed up and you were in line before then, you would be able still to get it, but if not only if its leftover. If the restaurant that you go to doesnt do this, I recommend asking for the store managers number or calling the 1800 number located on many of the products…aka coffee cups, ect. And filling a complaint. Do so as much as they try to "cut" breakfast early.
Last, please remember that everyone that works is human and makes mistakes. Weather they are 16 working there first job, or 20's going to school people need mcdonalds as a place of employment, to get a car or pay for school.