Poor Tom Brady is out for the season and now we learn that he has an ACL and MCL tear, which will take him about 9 months to get back to any kind of athletic position. Tears? Angst? Hold onto that for a moment. Tom Brady is not hard up for your sympathy just yet.

1. This one is easy. If I had 9 months of doting and BJ’s from Gisele Bundchen, I am not sure I would be fighting rehab too badly. Not a shabby recovery period at all…

2.  Football isn’t Brady’s only source of income – though if it was, his six-year, $60 million contract should tide him over for a while – our boy Tom is fairly experienced estate tycoon. He recently profited $1.7M in a single real estate transaction in Boston.

3. When Tom Brady wants a car – he gets what he wants. He was offered a custom Escalade with platinum 24’s, but then changes his mind to an XLR Roadster. Only problem was that there were only 5,000 in existence yet, and they were all spoken for. So GM did the next logical thing, put an extra one in production just for Tom Brady. Hopefully we won’t be bailing out GM with our tax dollars soon b/c I will remember this one!

4. I love Family Guy, but when you are big enough to get your whole f*cking episode – you lose all of my sympathy when you crash. If you haven’t seen it, you need to. Either way, that is pimp.

5. Maybe now Tom Brady will have some time to see his baby. You remember, the other incredibly hot chick Tom impregnated? I am actually starting to hate him for having such an awesome life.