How To Avoid Getting Caught Jackin’ It In College

It was about 1:30 in the morning on a Thursday night and I was doing what most red blooded males do–masturbate.

In my room with the door shut and the lights out, my laptop was sitting on my legs, while the headphones were in my ears. I was navigating through the wide world of internet porn when suddenly my female roommate comes bursting through the door. The lights come on and she begins to tell me how her night had gone. I looked at her, in complete shock and said, “Umm…I’m jacking off here. What do you need?”

To which she replied, “Oh my God. I am so sorry.” Then she turned and walked out of the room, not even bothering to turns out the lights. I waited about twenty seconds and decided that I was no longer in the mood to finish what I had been doing. I got out of bed and went upstairs to see what was up my roommate.

She was sitting on the couch drinking some water. She apologized again and I took a seat next to her. She told me that she knocked and since I had headphones in I must have not heard her. She just assumed I was sleeping and was going to wake me up for a chat.

Surprisingly, I was totally cool with all of this. It didn’t bother me that she caught me. She was embarrassed that she had walked in and had started a conversation without realizing what I was doing. It turns out, the way my laptop was positioned she had no idea what I was doing.

So what does all this mean? To minimize getting caught in this perfectly normal and healthy act I would suggest the following:

1. Lock the door. I know I didn’t and this all could have been avoided had I done that in the first place.

2. Make it clear to roommates, housemates, and friends who sometimes spend the night that when you say you are going to bed, it doesn’t necessarily mean going to sleep. Give yourself a good half hour to really go to bed.

3. Be completely comfortable joking and talking about masturbating with your friends. I have bonded with several of my best college friends over discussions focusing on sex and other like-minded topics.

Do these things and you should be able to avoid getting caught, thus you will avoid getting blue balled.