Why I hate Facebook: Reason #1

September 1, 2008 - 5:15 pm By COED Staff

I hate Facebook. I even went so far as to “delete” my original account. (Which is never actually deleted, btw). But because nobody else in the entire world seems to share my contempt for the ever-popular social networking Site, I decided to re-open an account in order to keep in touch with all the people who refuse to communicate in any way other than this silly Site. But it’s already come back to haunt me.

Below is an excerpt from an actual conversation between an ex/friend of mine from years past and me from this past weekend that perfectly exemplifies why I hate Facebook.

Between You and “Ex-Girlfriend”

“Ex-Girlfriend”
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August 27 at 1:56am

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Hey. Well, I see you have been doing some cleaning up among your friends. Apparently you consider both Mr K***** and M**** to be closer than we ever were.

Have a nice life

August 30 at 7:10pm

Hi “Ex-Girlfriend,”
I’m sorry if I’ve unintentionally offended you! I almost never use this stupid thing, and I’ve only added people who’ve asked me to be their friend.

I don’t search for people on here.

I would happily be your friend, much more than either M**** or Mr. K*****–of course!!!!!!

And I hope you’re doing well! Please don’t think that I was “cleaning” up my friends. I have never done that, I’ve never even deleted anybody. And I approve anyone who asks to be my friend.

For the record, the only reason I approved K*****l was so I could have a way to tell him to go f**k himself–I loathe that guy.

You must understand that I hate Facebook, and I only re-opened an account because it was becoming impossible to keep in touch with some people unless I had this. And I don’t ever use it for much of anything, unless I’m bored on a Saturday, like I am now.

Anyway, I hope you’re well, even if you’re mad at me for no reason. And I want to keep in touch with you! Don’t let some silly web page that poorly represents my life be a measure of my intentions, priorities–and definitely not of who I value in life. That’s ridiculous.

Anyway, if you forgive me, send me a friend request. If not, well, that’s too bad.

“Ex-Girlfriend”
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August 31 at 10:12am

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Sorry about that. I guess I was a bit fast in my judging. I didn’t realize that you had closed down your account and re-opened a new one. I just thought that you had deleted part of you friends, cause I got a suggestion from Facebook saying that I should perhaps add you as a friend. Which was a bit strange since I thought you already belonged to my list of friends.

Anyway, I feel like a complete ass. And it was really not my intention to sound like an old hag. I hope you´re doing well.

August 31 at 2:36pm

Hey Ex-Girlfriend,
Please, do not worry. I don’t blame you, I blame Facebook. This f**king thing makes having friends more difficult, I think, not less. So please don’t think you’re an ass–it’s just an asinine age we live in.

Zeus Hanover says:

September 2, 2008 at 9:09 am

I couldn’t agree with the author more. Facebook is a fucking abomination, I created an account for the same reasons as Andrew and stopped using it about a week later. Keeping up with friends shouldn’t be a part time job. Fuck Facebook, MySpace, etc…

P.S.- What the fuck is the point of those damned “e drinks” that people keep spamming their friends with?

Frank says:

September 2, 2008 at 2:28 pm

Dude, moral of the story: your ex is a little crazy…

SickBoy says:

September 9, 2008 at 9:23 pm

How is that a good example of why you hate Facebook? So you had a minor misunderstanding with someone that caused little more than temporary, mild animosity. Big fuckin’ whoop. I’m sure you could come up with many valid reasons for not liking Facebook, but this definitely isn’t one of them.

Think about this: if you hadn’t left and come back, and either just stayed on, or stayed off, this whole “problem” wouldn’t have even happened. I’d say your indecisiveness is what got you in trouble here, not Facebook.