Kimbo’s Next Opponent Set: Slice vs Shamrock

Kimbo Slice has again avoided fighting a legit opponent. This time, instead of fighting an overweight bar brawler (Tank Abbot) or a hulking British piñata who has literally admitted to learning grappling from DVDs (James Thompson), EliteXC has picked the delusional, but still legendary, Ken Shamrock to battle the newest face of MMA.

I fully understand the desire to test the waters slowly with Slice. CBS and EliteXC have a lot of money invested in the Floridian street fighter and a fighter that is 5-0 is worth far more then one who is 4-1, but this is getting out of hand.

Out of his 4 fights in the EliteXC cage, 50% of Kimbo’s opponents have been over 40 years old. It is becoming too obvious that EliteXC is trying to protect their most famous fighter. James Thompson should have been an easy win, but instead the green Slice almost lost the bout, saved only by Thompson’s exploding ear. With that scare behind them, the suits at EliteXC are looking for even easier opponents. If Kimbo knocks Ken out fast, fine, but what if Ken takes him the distance? I worry about EliteXC’s next opponent for Kimbo, 80 year old Jim Crane, homeless man who lives outside their offices.

I can see their quotes for that bout now. “Sure he’s homeless, but with homelessness comes experience! Crane is hungry, both literally and figuratively!”

Of course, the chances that Ken will take Kimbo to three rounds are low, and the chances of him winning are absolutely minuscule. Ken hasn’t won a bout since 2004, when he fought another oldie-but-goodie, Kimo Leopold. Since then, he’s lost to everyone he has faced, names big and small. From the well known Tito Ortiz to the completely unknown Robert Berry. Ken didn’t just lose those fights, mind you. He got smashed. Since his win in 2004 Ken hasn’t even made it to the 4 minute mark in a fight. Let’s also not forget, Ken has cut to 205lbs many times and is not a natural heavyweight. Slice probably couldn’t make 205 without major surgery.

Prediction? Kimbo will smash Ken standing. If Ken acts as usual (I’ve decided, after 20 years in the sport, that I am a kick boxer) he will be out cold by the third minute. If Ken decides to game plan and attempt his only real shot at winning, a leg lock, Kimbo will sprawl and easily out-athlete the legend, keep the fight standing and still knock him into deep space.

(Image via EliteXC.com)