Cletus The Slackjawed Yokel Tries To Kill Obama

Fear the 21st Century mastermind killer. He comes armed, dangerous, and uncomfortably inbred-looking. Meet Nathan Johnson, Tharin Gartrell and Shawn Adolf, the “at least” three people arrested in Aurora, Colorado, suspected in a plot to kill presumptive (until Thursday) Democratic nominee for President, Sen. Barack Obama.

Though little has been reported or released to the public about the men, their motivations rang clear Monday, when they told CBS4 television station that they were, “going to shoot Obama from a high vantage point using a … rifle … sighted at 750 yards.”

From Rocky Mountain News:

Detective Marcus Dudley, a police spokesman, would not comment on reports that the men were involved in a plot to kill Obama. He told reporters gathered in a parking lot behind the police station that he could not discuss the “federal implications” of the case or whether others beside the three men had been arrested. However, he did confirm that federal authorities were involved in arresting two of the men.

“Clearly, we feel there are federal implications. Beyond that I can’t elaborate,” he said.

He said the U.S. Attorney for Colorado will hold a news conference Wednesday.

Earlier Monday, CBS4 had reported one of the suspects told authorities that they were “going to shoot Obama from a high vantage point using a … rifle … sighted at 750 yards.”

Law-enforcement sources told CBS4 that one of the suspects “was directly asked if they had come to Denver to kill Obama. He responded in the affirmative.”

Don’t worry, it just gets better from there. In addition to the guns, they also had drugs! Here’s all that we know about these a-holes:

* Nathan Johnson, 32. About three hours after Gartrell’s arrest, police from Aurora, Denver and Greenwood Village, and federal agents arrested Johnson at a hotel near Interstate 25 and Belleview Avenue. He is being held on drug charges in Denver. His bond amount was not available.

* Shawn Robert Adolf, 33. Police and federal agents arrested Adolf at the Cherry Creek Hotel at 600 South Colorado Boulevard in Glendale around 5 a.m. Sunday after he jumped from a sixth-floor window. Adolf was injured when he fell four stories onto the second-floor roof of the hotel kitchen. He then jumped again onto the ground around the hotel, where police caught him a short time later. Johnson was hospitalized with unspecified injuries from his fall. He is being held on 7 outstanding warrants with bonds totaling $1 million.

* Tharin Robert Gartrell, 28, who was carrying a Colorado identification card that listed a Centennial address. Gartrell was erratically driving a rented 2008 blue Dodge Ram truck that was not registered in his name. The guns, ammo, drugs and other equipment were found in the truck.

UPDATE: We now have video of the news report, just in case you wanted to know more–or don’t know how to read…