COED Presents: Brett Favre The College Years : COED Magazine

No matter how many games he’ll win in the East Rutherford swamp this year, Brett Favre’s majestic career will be forever remembered in the minds of fans with a Packers jersey and a three day old beard. Most people don’t remember, or don’t even know about, his extraordinary collegiate career at Southern Mississippi. Those glorious four years are merely stat lines preceding his NFL career, yet instead of wondering about what the future holds for football’s number 4 let’s take a look at his past; a look at Brett Favre: The College Years.

If you thought Chuck Norris was a man’s man you’ve been watching too much Walker Texas Ranger (you can never watch enough actually) and not enough Conference USA football from 1987 to 1991. Before college Favre played football and baseball for Hancock North Central High School near Gulfport Mississippi, where he started for the baseball team in the 8th grade and earned five varsity letters[1]. The Hancock North Central High School football team was coached by Brett’s father, who knew about his son’s cannon arm from when Brett broke it when he was 11 years old and had a brief stint as a Chicago Cubs pitcher [2], but still never allowed more than five passes or so a game in his option-run offense. [3] To show his father that he is dealing with Brett Favre and not some random first round pick from a few years ago [4] Brett played quarterback, lineman, strong safety, placekicker and punter simultaneously for the Hancock Hawks. [5] After four years of success Favre asked to come back, but due to graduation restrictions and the lack of need for a 20 year old five position player contract negotiations fell through and Favre asked his father for a release from the Hancock Hawks. [6]

After sifting through numerous scholarship offers Favre choose to go to Southern Mississippi [7] and was asked to play multiple positions again. Favre set his sights on quarterback though, and even though there were six quarterbacks in front of him Favre only had to wait and groom his beard for his shot to jump from 7th string to starter [8]. After a Friday night of heavy drinking and shooting beer bottles off a fence with his cannon arm Favre got his shot to play in the second half of a game against Tulane[9]. Favre, pissing excellence, threw up during warm-ups [10] but went on that day to lead the Golden Eagles to a come from behind victory [11], which is like being hung over and simultaneously acing a final and scoring a date with the girl in the short skirt next to you; a feat you might not have been able to do with a healthy amount of sleep and bodily fluids.

In 1989, Favre in his junior year, led the Golden Eagles to a last minute upset of the #6 ranked Florida State Seminoles [12]. That summer Brett had the biggest set back of his life though when he flipped his car only a few tenths of a mile away from his house. Luckily, Brett’s brother, who was nearly as much of a man’s man as he, broke the window of the car with a golf club and pulled the quarterback out to be taken to the hospital [13] . Favre’s mother recalled him only asking about football on the way to the hospital, and soon he would have 30 inches of his small intestine removed due to the crash [14]. Six weeks later Brett would lead a comeback victory over Alabama in memory of his small intestine, and Gene Stalling then coach at ‘Bama would say after the game “You can call it a miracle or a legend or whatever you want to. I just know that on that day, Brett Favre was larger than life.”[15]

Favre went on to break every quarterback record in the books for Southern Mississippi [16], a feat which including most plays, most total yards gained, most passing yards gained, most completions made, most touchdowns scored, and most passing attempts made [17]. While in the four years of breaking records and making a name for him in the world of football Brett Favre also found time to get a degree in education with a specialization in special education [18].

So when he plays into the hearts of the people of Green Bay for years, compiles the best career statistics for a quarterback ever, and is treated with more media traction than John McCain’s Rascal Scooter [19], Brett Favre still has the same roots as everyone else; if everyone else was a record setting, overcoming odds playing, accident surviving, special education teacher. So when you watch the bearded wonder sling footballs in North Jersey this season, remember the collegiate, drunken, spectacular, path he took to get there. [20]

[1] Pretty much the A.C. Slater of Hancock North Central High

[2] Henry Rowengartner

[3] Probably where young Brett first learned to throw on the run while anchoring what was most likely Mississippi’s most boring high school offense.

[4] Cool beard Aaron Rogers

[5] Favre played the field more than Wilmer Valderrama

[6] Brett chartered a plane from his home to his high school only to leave the homecoming pep rally and his illustrious high school career in the past

[7] He received only 1 offer, and it was Southern Mississippi- and it wasn’t to play quarterback

[8] 7th string quarterback is also the nickname for bass drum players in the marching band

[9] A freshmen asked to play cornerback is the 7th stringer instead, and then leaps over 6 guys to start = Lifetime Original Movie

[10] Was Favre in college Guy At the Keg or Great At Beer Pong Guy? Or just the A.C. Slater of College Parties?

[11] Two touchdowns and as many passing yards as his BAC

[12] The same year Sega Genesis came out- A,B,A,C,A,B,B- that’s the blood code for Mortal Kombat

[13] “Where the hell is my 9 iron, there’s a car accident outside and I’m standing around here with a 3 wood”

[14] Seriously.

[15] “We sucked.”

[16] That’s like being the coolest kid with a harelip.

[17] Not bad for a hung over 7th stringer.

[18] Other accomplishments include: Mississippi Man of the Year 1969-1991, completing 17 successful spinal operations, building 8 churches with his bare hands, saving over 7,000 kittens from trees, and turning a hot dog and 2 beers into enough alcohol and food for an entire tailgate party.

[19] “All senior citizens should have Life Alert! Help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up™”

[20] Eat your heart out Chuck Norris.