Fox News hothead and uber Conserv-o Bill O’Reilly should go get tested right this very second! Why, you ask? Because his wife of 13 years, Maureen McPhilmy is reported to have once dated famous crackhead and Public Enemy member, Flavor Flav.

Mopping-up after Flavor Flav might seem like the bottom of the sloppy seconds barrel. But if this report is true (which is questionable, being that it came from WhosDatedWho.com), O’Reilly’s wife might have a lot more skeletons in her sex-closet than just an old rapper. Here are six people that might actually make Bill-O more angry than coming in second to Flav.

Keith Olbermann

If you don’t make a point to watch the talking heads in the evening, you might not know that O’Reilly and Olbermann probably hate each other as much as two people without tribal ties can hate. KO’s like BO’s evil, liberal twin brother. Well, he’s evil if you think the Bush Administration has been a roaring success, that is…

Any Illegal Immigrant

It’s not that he’s xenophobic or anthing–O’Reilly just doesn’t like good, hard working Americans losing their jobs to someone who’s breaking the law. So having his wife worked over by one of these dude might just send him over the edge.

Carrot Top

Do we really need to give you reasons why Carrot Top sloppy seconds would make someone want to cut off their junk and throw it into a garbage disposal? We didn’t think so…

Andy Dick

Andy Dick is the physical embodiment of sloppy seconds. He’s like a sin-eater, just gathering up everyone else’s past mistakes and entrapping them in his weird, wiry frame. We’re guessing when he dies, it’ll be like shutting down the power in Ghostbusters, but instead of ghouls, it’s herpes.

Rosie O’Donnell

O’Reilly and O’Donnell really don’t like each other. They feuded for a while until both sides got too winded to keep it going. But finding out his wife spent a champagne-fueled evening in a hot tub with Rosie might give him a lesbian-bashing aneurysm.

Insane C–k Brothas

These guys combine every single worst nightmare a dude could have about his wife’s sexual past. They’re not just nasty–they’re mask nasty.

Who Would You Like To See Bill O’Reilly’s Wife Have Sex With?