COED Presents: Party Pics of the Top 20 Party Schools

Despite what your parents say, College is for partying. And with the Princeton Review’s release of their Top 20 Party schools, we now know which schools are doing it the best. But what exactly does it mean to be a top party school? Lots and lots of drinking, hot girls, tailgate parties, beer bongs, shaming and having a time to remember (but can’t…because of the drinking.)

So instead of just reading a boring list, we’re bringing the party to you with the best photo galleries from all the schools that get it right . Now you can actually see how much fun everyone else is having, since you decided to opt for some place more, ahem, academic…

Photos From The Top 20 Party Schools After The Jump!

1. University of Florida, Gainesville, Fla.

Buddy of mine from college went here for grad school. He once took a full-on shotgun blast of a man-punch from a guy who stands 6′4”, 230 lbs. and lived to tell humble versions of it.

He also organized one of the best orgies I’ve ever attended. In addition, they partake in the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, an event that if I don’t make it to will top MY list of regrets upon my demise.

I also once worked with a Gator chick. She currently does not give a f*ck. End of story.

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2. University of Mississippi, University, Miss.

Eli Manning went here. Have you seen pics of Eli Manning at play off the field? Dude knows how to party. Not to mention they offer Tailgating as a three credit course. Ever been to one of their tailgates? The Grove is no joke.

They have Hoddy Toddy Cocktail parties, which sounds ultra-mega-gay, but if it brings out smoke doctors like the ones you find on SEC Poon then you can call Rainbow BlowJ Manhole parties for all I care. These girls dress to impress, thanks to the lovely weather they enjoy.

If you see that kind of skin at a Michigan game, you’re most likely on PCP.

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3. Penn State University, University Park, Pa.

I can’t believe I’ve never visited. I was invited to go to a football game there last year and I passed like a scared first-year Ryan Leaf on a bring-the-house blitz. Alumni simply do not move on from this place and rightfully so. Nothing nor no one (huh?) can surpass the level of party this institution shovels on the daily. Part of me is glad I never attended the school, I would’ve set the lifetime record for number of times billboarded.

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4. West Virginia University, Morgantown, W.Va.

Ever been to West Virginia? Yeah, it’s west of Virginia. Well, it’s very woodsy. I was there about a decade ago for a wedding. You get yourself a jug of grain, maybe some “paraphernalia,” and you got yourself a football field’s worth of party people willing to do what…ev…er.

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5. Ohio University, Athens, Ohio.

Is it like a rule that if your school is located in Athens you must do as the Greeks did and engage in absurdly over-the-top celebrations like the one this school puts on for Halloween?

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6. Randolph-Macon College, Ashland, Va.

I know absolutely nothing about this school. The name makes me think of former Mets manager Willie Randolph, who was a pretty sedate dude, and bacon, which tastes good on everything. So, chill + good w/ everything must mean casual sex is straight on-fire rampant before, during, and after class. Plus, VA is the Mid-Atlantic’s rebuttal to the hotness CA, TX, and FL bring. The Northeast? We gave up years ago. See below.

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7. University of Georgia, Athens, Ga.

My nickname used to be “Bulldog.” Oddly enough, I was 8 and my balls hadn’t dropped yet. Let’s be honest, when you think of bulldogs, you think of a pair of wrinkly hang-downs. Back in the day, we used to give each other “the bulldog,” a gross-out maneuver in which you stick your testes in between your legs and bend over, a la those scenes in Waiting where they show “The Brain,” “The Batwing,” and “The Goat.” How does that relate to partying? My man, if you don’t know, you better ask somebody.
Case in point. This ‘Dawg can’t display The Bulldog.

Also, lots of good lawyers come from UGA. Why? Parties aren’t cool until some illegal sh*t goes down. Even cooler parties are the ones that are able to continue after the fuzz comes a-knockin’.

Double also, rumors have been floating around that their pet mascot, Uga, died due to excessive scooby snackage. Just a rumor, but worth noting.

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8. University of Texas, Austin, Texas.

Deep in the heart of Texas. I’ll tell ya where I’d like to be “deep in”… a party at UT Austin. Their girls are consistently ranked as the hottest in the nation. You can get a burrito the size of a whale’s penis for less than a four-inch hot dog at Shea and well drink specials normally run about $0.25 a cup. Hot girls + Good Cheap Food + Discounted Liquor. Yeah, that doesn’t add up to mustard-covered threesomes on a mechanical bull.

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9. University of California-Santa Barbara, Santa Barbara, Calif.

There are way too many UCals out there. Can we agree on that? No, USCB is not the Banana Slugs one, it’s the Gauchos one. Gauchos are Argentinian cowboys. Okay, so the school’s founder(s) took the two biggest sex fantasies for girls and combined them: South American men and rough-n-tough ranchers. I’m sure flocks of hip-thrusting 10s in heat will choose another school.

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10. Florida State University, Tallahassee, Fla.

Speaking of cowpeople, remember the FSU Cowgirl Jenn Sterger? She recently skewered ESPN’s Erin Andrews for not being a professional. Well, here’s something that is far from amateur: FSU’s parties. Do I smell a baby pool filled with baby oil, jello, cream cheese, mud, and all my hopes and dreams? No…no, that’s just my bunghole’s memories of this morning’s leftover Chipotle. You could imagine, though, right?

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11. University of New Hampshire, Durham, N.H.

My friend from high school went here for one semester. In fact, every person I’ve ever known who’s attended UNH has only survived one semester. Do they even offer classes?

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12. University of Iowa, Iowa City, Iowa

I had another friend who applied to law school here. There is nothing to do there. Except party your f*cking face off. And maybe eat some corn. But, why eat it when you can make alcohol from it? The vicious cycle continues.

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13. University of Colorado, Boulder, Co.

Any parent who sends their kid here has got to know exactly what to expect when grades come back. P’s all over the place. P’s for partying. P’s for puking. P’s for punching. P’s for prophyllactics optional. WEED ike to tell you more about this DOPE school, but then your *ss would be GRASS. Hey-o!

High out of their GD minds.

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14. Indiana University, Bloomington, Ind.

Funny, I was just talking to a chick who graduated from IU. I’d probably need to go the ICU if went there. “Best four years of my life,” she said. She’s only in her 20s. That means child birth, marriage (and subsequent divorce), grand kids, winning the lotto, buying her first house, honeymoon, her child’s first steps, her child’s first words – all that SUCKS in comparison. THAT is the Hoosier spirit, my friends. Not some sh*tty movie about a bunch o’ white dudes in short shorts. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to hop into my riot gear so I can grab some grub.

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15. Tulane University, New Orleans, La.

Word is they allow kegs in your dorm starting your freshman year. Throw in Mardi Gras, Bourbon Street, voodoo, hurricanes (the drink), and beads for boobs and if you’re still not having fun, you’re probably a well-respected salesman from the midwest with three kids, a dog, and a lovely wife. You suck.

They even have cheerleaders personally hand deliver special “adult” brownies. Gives new meaning to “the Green Wave.

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16. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, Urbana, Ill.

I’m not gonna lie. When the girls’ volleyball team approaches you on New Year’s Eve and challenges you to a shot contest, pretend to get a phone call and leave the premises. You WILL die. I had the (mis)fortune of testing the drinking abilities of the Fighting Illini v-ball squad on NYE in NYC and the words, “dig,” “spike,” and, “set,” still cause me to dry heave.

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17. Arizona State University, Tempe, Ariz.

I’m shocked and/or appalled this isn’t higher on the list. First of all, their cheerleaders double as porn stars. I ask current and former students alike, what it’s like, and they become speechless. Their eyes begin to well up with tears. Real human tears. You can find a party at anytime, on any day of the week, no less than five yards from where you stand on campus. Honestly, you graduate from this place and you deserve more than a degree.

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18. University of Tennessee, Knoxville, Tenn.

“You’re the only ten I see.” Oh man, that line will never get old. Too bad there’s about 30,000 tens on UT’s campus. So, by the time you get, “You’re the only-” about 18 more will walk by wearing cleavage shirts that show off their abs. Also, it’s located in Jack Daniels hometown. Haven’t met JD? He’s a cool dude in small doses. Even cooler when he’s inside and all over everyone in the room. Slick dude, that JD.

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19. University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa, Ala.

Alabama Slammer is a shot.
Alabama Hot Pocket is a sex move.
Crimson Tide is a reference to “that time of the month.”

Combine all three and well, haha, look who joined the party.

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20. Loyola University-New Orleans, New Orleans, La.

I can just picture myself as the drunken ball in this game of college party ping pong between Loyola and Tulane. N’awlins, don’t you EVER try to disappear EVER again.

If there’s any lesson to be learned here for fathers across America, it’s send your son to the SEC or Pac-10. Stuck with a daughter? That chick’s goin’ straight to Notre Dame, BYU, or Oral Roberts. Actually, scratch that last suggestion – somethin’ about it just don’t feel right. If she has a tan, gleaming white teeth, blonde hair and a proclivity to wearing revealing outfits, you better be Jason Bourne or a really really casual guy with a LOT of patience. Like Phil Mickelson plus Danny Tanner times infinity.

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Which School Has The Best Party Pics?

If anyone has additional awesome party pictures from these schools, email them to us at editor@coedmagazine.com and we’ll include them in the gallery!