E3 Continues : Disappointment

With all the good stuff coming out of this year’s E3, its easy to be positive. New games that look great and have a lot of good stuff to show off come up big. But there’s still a lot of crap out there. Let’s take a look at some of the worst ‘what the fuck’ moments from this years Expo.

God of War 3 Announcement

Awesome, a CGI rendering of Kratos, who is totally positive ‘there will be only chaos.’ That is awesome Kratos, just awesome. Stellar work you’re doing. How about some fucking gameplay? I’m getting a little tired of the GOW crew acting like what they do is on a ‘Christ returns’ level of wow. You guys make a beat em’ up. It’s a fucking sweet beat em’ up. It’s well executed and I played 1 and 2 and loved them. But it’s still a beat em’ up. And to not show any game play for a game that is a beat em’ up is kinda sad. Call me when you’ve got some footage of Kratos ripping off a Medusa’s head, powered by the PS3’s glorious hardware suite. Double shame since this is coming off the ambiguous end of God of War 2, which led to all types of rumors about where and in what time period the game will take place.

New XBOX 360 Dashboard

Looks ugly as sin. What the fuck, Microsoft? The dashboard is cool right now, don’t waste your time redefining it because your bored. Also, when you add your own version of ‘Mii’s’ to the dashboard, you don’t look innovative. The Wii did it, and then the PS3 announced they were gonna do it. You’re the slow one, you lose, you look pathetic. I doubt most 360 gamers give a shit about designing their own little avatar anyway. You guys are about games, not platform. The 360 is the least stylish of the three, you need to accept that you are the workhorse and not the cool kid and realize that people still love you.

Although the NetFlix streaming directly to the 360 is a cool idea. Although I can’t help but cringe at the those of 4 dudes with headsets on all simultaneously watching ‘Blade 3.’

New 50 Cent Game

Dude…what the f**k? I don’t want to hate on people who actually show gameplay in a trailer but honestly…another 50 Cent game? And in this one he is flying around in Black Hawk helicopters and fighting through war torn cities. I cannot fathom what story would actually plant Fiddy in what appears to be a civil war but I’ve got a (bad) feeling it has to do with his ‘reputation.’ Rap games are best when they are amusing and ironic, like the early Def Jam fighting games. Not when they take themselves seriously (like the latest Def Jam fighting game). I spy with my little eye a AI controlled Lloyd Banks, wearing a G-Unit hoody and a Kangol hat. Real tactical.