Adopt a Stripper

With the economy slowing grinding to a halt, the sub-prime mortgage crisis, gas prices rising and the US dollar tanking, American’s are spending less on ‘luxury items’–and strippers are starting to feel the pinch. Thing is, stripping still brings home the bacon better than most jobs out there, so more and more women are opting to take it off in the name of self-preservation.

From Tampa Bay Online:

…[H]ere in Tampa, the self-professed “Lap Dance Capital of the World,” the area’s adult entertainment venues are taking a hit.

Profits are down 25 percent to 30 percent this year, said Deja Vu general manager Eric Terrell, who goes by the name Ice.

[...]

While an ailing economy may bring fewer customers to local strip clubs, it often, however, will bring out more women willing to give pole dancing a try.

“If it’s hard to find even a regular job out there, I’ll get more dancers,” said Joe Redner, owner of Tampa’s iconic Mons Venus club on Dale Mabry Highway.

Because of how strip clubs operate (strippers pay the club to work there, and keep money made from tips and lap dances), it doesn’t cost them extra to hire more girls. So despite the current monetary benefits of taking off your clothes for a living, the increase in competition between girls at a single club reduces their take-home pay again, on top of a reduction in overall business.

While the prospects of strippers having to worker harder for their $1 bills sounds fantastic, if this trend continues, a stripper’s salary could eventually drop to levels low enough to make getting naked for random strangers not exactly worth it. So nip this developing crisis in the bud, and adopt a stripper by budgeting in a couple lap dances ever month. It might mean you have to sacrifice some things (like eating), but remember–it’s the right thing to do.