KICK THE HABIT: World of Warcraft

This is it, buddy. The time has come. You had a good run. Sure everyone likes to have fun now and again, but its gone too far and you need to quit. For you, for your health, for your family.

You’ve got to stop playing World Of Warcraft.

At approx. 9 Million users worldwide, WOW is one of the most popular addictive substances on the planet. That first hit gets you going, and when you level, it’s like, you’re just so free, man. It’s so real. Some people can handle it, can play casually. They don’t care what level they are, or what their mount looks like, or what might be selling at the auction house right now (LINEN IS GOING FOR 2s A STACK BUY! BUY! BUY!). But they aren’t you. You have to quit and your doing it cold turkey. It’s hard, but it can be done. Here are a few tips to help you on your journey to recovery.

Uninstall the game.

This is, by far, the most helpful thing that you can do. I’ve seen many men ‘quit,’ cancel their subscription and then play out their remaining hours, saying ‘once it runs out, I’m done.’ Then that day comes, and they forgot that they scheduled a raid with some bros, and well, you can’t leave them hanging. Better just re-up for one month, whats the harm? And then BAM, shame spiral.

The one flaw in Blizzard’s plan to ruin the lives of gamers everywhere lies in the size of the game. WOW is gigantic, the original install is five discs, and the necessary expansion is four more. This install, added with the many enormous content patches that you have to download once the game is installed, takes about four hours to complete. That’s a long time, and that’s exactly what you want to think when you get the urge to play once you’ve quit. If you don’t uninstall, its right there, sitting on your desktop, taunting you. ‘Come on!’ the icon might say, ‘Grind mobs with me for gold!’

But if you uninstall, there’s nothing except the urge. And when you see that stack of discs, chances are you’ll be able to resist going through that install bullsh*t again, until the urge passes.

Find another game.

It’s not cheating if you break up first. Try playing a classic game that you love, or maybe a new one you’ve been wanting to try. NOT an MMO. Something that can be played and put down. Perhaps a single player RPG like a Final Fantasy, or a Mass Effect. Maybe even Diablo 2. Those will give you the sweet satisfaction of gearing up your character and making progress without the cold sweats you’d get when you thought about all the other people who were making more progress than you.

Focus on the negative.

For every good memory you have of WOW, there is a bad one. Find those thoughts and hold onto them dearly. The unfair class balance! Paladins can’t do damage! Every time the random number generated denied you a piece of loot, only to give it to the asshole who already has everything. Or the time you were totally going to beat that warrior in a duel, but then he got a lucky Mace Stun and ruined everything–all result in a smashed and tear-soaked keyboard. Forget all those hours you spent laughing and gathering ‘purps’ and remember the bullshit that drove you to nigh suicide on a weekly basis.

Godspeed sir, godspeed.

(Image source: Mavav.org)