Vagina-Bong: US Patent #7122000

“That bong doesn’t look anything like a vagina,” you might be thinking right now. And you couldn’t be more right. But that’s because it’s not supposed to look like a vagina. You’re supposed to stick it in one to use it.

Let’s let the patent do the talking:

The lower end cooperates with the wall of the vagina to form a water reservoir holding water in the lower end and the vagina. A stem is received into the inlet port with an end opening submerged in the water reservoir. Suction applied at the exit port draws air through the stem to bubble through the water reservoir to generate stimulatory vibrations transmitted to the vagina. Optionally, a bowl holding combustible material communicates with the stem such that smoke bubbles through the water reservoir to simultaneously filter and cool the smoke and generate stimulatory vibrations.

I’ve never heard so many euphemism for smoking weed out of someone’s p***y, but it still sounds kind of, er, hot…

Though the product is not in wide production, the patent describes it as a “water pipe for providing female sexual stimulation while smoking combustible material.” I don’t know about anyone else, but keeping “combustible material” away from my crotch is definitely one of my daily goals. But whatever tickles your uterus fancy, I suppose.

Would you use the vagina-bong?

UPDATE: Thanks to the comments, we now have video! Obviously VERY NSFW, but I wouldn’t exactly call it a vagina-bong.

(Image source: Patently Silly)