How To Be A Dick: Dating Dos and Don’ts

Women like guys who are dicks. It’s a fact. But they don’t like it all the time. The trick is knowing when and how to be a dick. You don’t wanna be a dick to the point of being a bad person, and breaking a girl’s heart. Forget about that crap–only pussies are big dicks.

There is a certain degree of eloquence involved with being the right kind of dick. The kind that will keep a girl interested; the kind that will keep you with the upper hand. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this, but the lines between the very serious levels of dickhood are fine, so here are some do’s and don’t’s to keep you on track.

DON’T ever insult a girl on her looks. But don’t compliment her daily, either.

DO toss her compliments that are sincere and when they are warranted. You know, when she actually does look exceptionally beautiful.

Check out the rest of the list after the jump!

DON’T tell her you need her or act bummed when she makes plans without you.

DO encourage her to spend time away from you, and DO make plans with your own friends–often, and without her.

DON’T ever shower her with lovey-dovey phrases or long term promises. The fact of the matter is that most girls will start to lose interest the moment you start telling her that she is everything you have been looking for your whole life. I know that what we say we want, but we’re f**king stupid that way.

DO be there for her when she needs you (not just when she’s complaining), and do sweet things for her, here and there. That will speak legends in itself.

DON’T expect her to take care of you. Don’t let her do your laundry or cook you dinner every night.

DO take care of yourself and let her take care of herself. Sure, you can indulge in favors for one another once in a while, but the point should be made clear that you do not need her.

DON’T let her boss you around, ever.

Don’t let her always make the plans or dictate your decisions and/or outfits.

DO ask her for her opinion when you want it and be open to sharing ideas when it comes down to plans.

You don’t have to be a total dick to keep your dignity (and spark) in your relationship. But you DO have to know when and how to stand your ground. Period.