5 Signs She’s Too High Maintenance

May 14, 2008 - 11:30 am By COED Staff

Why so many guys fall victim to the death trap which is a high maintenance hot girl, I do not know. The warning signs are all there, fellas. They’re loud and clear and broadcast within minutes of meeting a girl.

You can weigh the pros and cons all that you want, but you’re just dragging yourself through needless stress-level-raising mud when you do this. As a girl, I can attest to this one fact: there are definite, almost invariable ways in which you can spot a girl who may be, well, too ‘girly’ for you. Here are some telling signs:

Nails
FAKE NAILS
For any girl who is not total lazy, fake nails are too much of a hassle. You know why? Because they get in the way of everything. From opening jars to using a goddamn remote control, these claws are thoroughly impractical and the only kinds of girls who care to have them either A ) think that fake nails are important enough to make the most mindless tasks difficult or B ) really want to be porn stars…which isn’t always bad…but it should make you think twice.

COMPLAINING ABOUT HEELS
If you ask me, high heels are about as impractical as fake nails. However, not all heels are bad. If they don’t hurt a girl, and they make her legs look super hot, then hell yes, I’m down for it. But if a chick is wearing heels and COMPLAINING, f*ck her! No one told her she had to wear torture shoes. She obviously prioritizes her leg length over comfort and that is just not a good sign.

Tiffany Charm TIFFANY’S CHARM BRACELET
Don’t kid yourself about this one, guys. These ugly little things are popular and they’re popular with one breed and one breed of women only : super high maintenance retards.

Girls who wear Tiffany’s charm bracelets are gonna want other Tiffany’s crap from you eventually…and yes, that certainly includes a wedding ring–which could also buy you a new car, if you dump this gold-digger.

TANNING BEDS
Laying outside in the warm weather, soaking up the sun, is an awesome feeling. You can hear birds chirping, kids playing in the water, whatever…it’s nice. BUT there is something to be said for a girl who finds it so crucial to change her skin color that she has to lay under hot lights when it’s not ideal tanning weather.

Think about this: she PAYS to change her skin color. Maybe this is more harmless than I’m making it sound, but I would still advise you to steer clear of these girls if you don’t wanna deal with high maintenance girl drama.

Louise Vitton HER PURSE
A girl’s purse can tell you a bunch about her and it’s right there, swinging from her arm. You just have to know what to look for. If she’s wearing one of those god-awful Louis Vuitton bags (you know, the ones with the ugly markings all over them), then drop her. Those bags are STUPID expensive, and you won’t be able to take her anywhere with it.

Imagine expecting her to sit that thing down on a table at a dive bar. No way in hell. Therefore, she is not worth your time.

Of course some guys are cut out to handle these kinds of girls…and god bless their hearts for taking them out of the dating pool. However, if you’ve had your fill of girls who are too much for you to handle, try looking for these signs next time, before she sucks your will to live.

Uncle B says:

June 14, 2008 at 2:43 pm

Bye Bye miss American easy pussy! To get anywhere in an oil poor USA you’ll have to do a lot more than act like a whore!
No more sugar daddies, no more stage door Johnnies, just school work and real self development, and just think, in this new world that is almost upon us, 1 in 4 of you under 16 with STDs will become a shameful statistic, not a matter of pride for young American studs!

LuxeEdition says:

May 25, 2009 at 4:31 pm

I would just like to say, that as a girl with the “high-maintenance look” some of your statements are totally unfair. Tanning beds give you a better tan for those of us that don’t soak up the rays so well. It’s a concentrated ray. And as for the fake nails, depending on the length these days they are completely practical and are, in fact a low maintenance option. you only have to do your nails once every 6 weeks.
The other 2 however, I agree with.
I would also like to say that not all girls that look high maintenance are. I like living the glam life, but I take pride in the fact that I earned it/ made it. I mean, free money never gets turned down, but I never ask anyone for anything. My chanel purse was paid for by me, by hours and hours of hard work, not for the status of it. But because it was an “reward” for getting through a tough time. I wanted it for me. There is a very fine line, and the line lies in the motives behind the girls high-maintenance. Don’t generalize.