Either we’re not paying close enough attention, or these people are planning their weddings faster than I can write.

In the “50-percent of me doesn’t care, but the other 50–percent really wants to see a picture of Ashlee Simpson’s big boobs” file, 23 year-old Ashlee Simpson and her long-time boyfriend, Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz, are set to say “I Do” this coming Saturday, in closely-guarded, secret location.

The shotgun ceremony comes a little more than a month after the couple announced their engagement. That announcement subsequently sparked allegations that the younger Simpson was pregnant, which Wentz has since denied.

From MTV.com:

“There is a witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood,” he wrote. “[Ashlee being pregnant] is all news to me. I can’t wait for the story about how I’m really in a gay relationship and this is all just a cover. … I mean really, this is crazy. … I mean we’re engaged, that’s true, and happy about it.”

Look dude, with jeans as tight as yours, I’d be careful about suggesting your’re in a gay relationship. These things have a way of making themselves come true.