Sweet Zombie Jesus, I can’t even believe this happened. According to Chron.com, three dudes in Humble, Texas dug up a guy, chopped off his head, and made a F’ing bong out of it.

From the article:

Matthew Gonzalez and Kevin Jones have been charged with the misdemeanor offense of abuse of a corpse, said Scott Durfee, a spokesman for the Harris County District Attorneys Office.

According to documents filed in the case, Gonzalez, Jones and an unnamed juvenile on March 15 went to an Humble cemetery, dug up a man’s grave, left with the head and turned it into a “bong.”

A misdemeanor!? You can get worse for just smoking weed! But that’s not what bothers me.

First, where did they smoke out of? A tube? The lips? The neck? None of those answers would make this ok with me. And second, how did they even come up with the idea?

Here’s my guess: There’s this thing called getting “wet,” or smoking “wet sticks”–basically, smoking embalming fluid mixed with weed–that royally f**ks you up. I’m talking gone.

Now, I’ve never done this, but I know people who have, and they aren’t exactly good life-planners. But the kind of people who would get wet by smoking out of a severed head need to go to jail, before they have a chance to, well, chop off my head and smoke weed out of it.