Wisdom-Free: Coked-Up Dude Rides/Crashes Work Minivan, Whips It Out

There’s nothing like an 8-ball and a mid-day crash-and-strip to make the world a more hilarious place. As WFMZ.com reports, John Messerly, 38, of climbed onto the roof of his employer’s mini-van, while driving down the highway, crashed, then striped off all his clothes.

This was a month ago. But instead of getting off with an “Oh, you…,” he’s now being charged criminally, “with causing and risking a catastrophe, driving under the influence, public drunkeness, indecent exposure, open lewdness, resisting arrest, and careless driving.”

I know this little incident makes ol’ Messerly seem like a complete dumbass, but tell me this isn’t the guy you’d want to have around after your girlfriend dumps you. He won’t just take you to a strip club–he’ll convince three of them to come back to your place, have all the right booze, and buy you a hangover-curing breakfast in the morning. (The clinic bill is your problem.)