Just when you thought she’d hit rock-bottom, Paula Abdul again proves that you can be a f*ck-up, and still have a job. Here’s Paula’s best intoxicatedly infamous moments television has to offer.

Check out The Top 5 Paula Abdul TV Meltdown videos after the Jump.

5.) Radio Show Melt-Down:

Look, everybody cries. But it’s a hell of a lot harder to feel for someone’s tears if they can barely talk. Maybe “talk” is too strong. Enunciate. That’s the word I’m looking for. I know Paula was being filmed 24/7–that’s got to be tough. But I find it hard to believe she convinced anybody of anything. I know, I’m a dick. And she was crying out of happiness from her, I’m sure, deserved success. But confusion can be equally upsetting, that’s all I’m saying.

4.) Blasted on QVC:

I take it back. “Talk” was exactly the word. Maybe she can still think. But her motor skills are shot. It’s like your grandpa got kind of hot, and was constantly allowed on television. I’m just not quite sure why that’s still the case.

3.) Hair and Make-Up Madness:

Every woman I know can, at least, throw on some eye liner and straighten her hair. Paula Abdul, on the other hand, can’t even have someone else do that sh*t for her, without her will-to-live crumbling into a pile of crap on the limo floor. “…I can’t stand (sniff) the fact that nobody’s directing me,” she wails, after some flight-delay nonsense with her beauty-crew. “I need…I need help.” Well, when she’s right, she’s right.

2.) Drunk on Fox News:

“It’s a wild party where you are,” Abdul says to the two unfortunate anchors on a Fox morning show. Problem is, she’s the only party happening anywhere in the entire country, at that moment. With all her drunken swaying, I can barely watch the video–I just want to try to catch her, the entire time. At least she didn’t blow it during her show…Oh, damn.

1.) American Idiot: Tuesday’s Live Idol Blunder

It’s one thing to be a complete basket-case on your own time, or when someone’s making a television show about you. But when judgement is your only task, and you’re being watched by 90-percent of the country, I’d say that’d be a good hour of the day to take a break from retardation drinking. And the worst part is, it adds to increasing rumors that the show’s fixed. Actually, as The New York Times reports, it is…kinda.