“Man Said ‘Wombat Rape’ Led to Accent Change”

By COED Staff

That is the actual headline from the London Telegraph Website. The accent the New Zealand man’s voice changed to was Australian, he claimed, as part of a pequliar prank on the police.

From the article:

Arthur Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka [New Zealand], called police last month to tell them he was being raped by the marsupial at his home and needed urgent assistance.

Cradock, an orchard worker, later called back to reassure the police operator that he was all right.

“I’ll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he’s pulled out. Apart from speaking Australian now, I’m pretty all right you know. I didn’t hurt my bum at all.”

You know, we don’t really have anything like that here in the States–a burning desire to shame the name of your closest territorial rival to the point of personal humiliation. When was the last time you claimed to be raped by Splinter (wombats are giant karate master rats, right?) just to make fun of your neighboring state? Never, that’s when.