Lately, my days start around 7:30 AM, a time inconceivable to me when I was a college student. You were more likely to find me up at 4 AM, still in party mode, and arising some time after noon to grab a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich from one of Philly’s myriad food trucks. I wouldn’t know how much I would miss those days until I had to grow up and get a real job. Now I’m forced to have thoughts like “I wonder if this shirt is too wrinkled to wear to work?” and “I wonder if they’ll notice if I leave this meeting to go vomit?”, thoughts so repugnant to every fiber of my being that I spend eight hours every day at my office job fantasizing about the days when I had more pressing and important concerns, such as figuring out how to have sex on the fifth floor of the student library without getting caught.

Yep, the real world sucks, and nothing I can say will prepare you to deal with passive aggressive e-mails from your boss, the body odor stink arising from the person sitting next to you on the bus, or the existential despair that you’ll experience when you realize that you’ve been having the same thing for lunch, every day, for nine months. But while you’re in college, you might as well make the most of it, which is why we’ve prepared the official COED Magazine College Bucket List.

Of course, feel free to improvise, and consider this list a floor, not a ceiling. F–k, that last sentence sounds like something my boss would say. I’ve gotta get away from this office…

Public Nudity

When they say college is a bubble, this is one case where that definitely applies. While no one is going to stop you from getting irresponsibly wasted after work every day, there are laws that prevent you from streaking naked through the copy room. And yet while one might argue that the same laws also apply to college students, for some reason, they seem to be cool with it if you only elect to wear clothes in public 95% of the time.

Of course, depending on your campus, your mileage may vary, but I will say you haven’t lived until you’ve been arrested completely naked in front of a Philadelphia 7-11.

Spring Break

This seems like a given, but people that I know that haven’t been on spring break seem just a touch out of step with the rest of us. Sort of like how a soldier cannot describe the travesties witnessed on the battlefield, spring break is just something you have to experience in person to understand.

Sex in the Library

A great way to blow off steam. Also a great way to get banned from the library. Not like you were going there to study anyway.

Make Out with Strangers

Well, they’re not really strangers. The great thing about hooking up on a college campus is there is already some commonality established, and most likely, you’ve seen each other before. You don’t appreciate this as much until you can’t bring up something like “weren’t you in my psych 001 lecture freshman year?” when you’re hitting on some random girl in a random bar and failing miserably. In the real world you actually have to be able to carry on a conversation in order to make out with someone (typically). Live it up now, because it will never be this easy ever again.

Go to Class Drunk

A great way to make up for all those missed class participation opportunities throughout the semester. You know all those drunken insights you have at 2 am? Well it’s time to share them with the world!

Study Abroad

Actually, save your money. You’re better off waiting until after college and going abroad during the summer. Everyone comes back telling the same stories anyway.

Donate blood for beer money

You’re doing something for a good cause AND you get drunk faster! Everyone wins!