Yeah, Earth Day — let’s plant a tree and make the world a better place! Yeah…nah.

But wait, what is this I hear? Grains and hops are becoming increasingly harder to grow and harvest, due to radical shifts in weather? That sounds terrible, though I don’t know why…I think I need a beer to relax and think about it. Wait a second…grains…hops…beer. Oh f*ck.

Let me get this straight: inconsistent weather patterns are raising the price of grains of hops, which means higher prices for brews. So, does that mean that global warming is the cause of beer prices inflating? Well give me a picket then, ’cause I have protesting to do.

From the New York Post:

As global temperatures rise, radical shifts in weather and more parched lands are making it harder to grow grains and hops, activists and beer makers agreed.

Kelly Taylor, brewmaster for Kelso of Brooklyn beers, said his customers have paid between 10 and 15 percent more in the past year. He warned that more hikes are inevitable.

“I think prices are going to be going up every year – steep price increases,” Taylor said. “My malt prices went up by 50 percent in one year.”

I mean seriously…is there sadder news in the world than this at the moment? Malt prices up by 50 percent in one year — and that’s just the standard stuff! The more particular batches will have price increases even higher than that. Unless you exclusively drink swill like Budweiser, this is a huge problem. Global warming is bad, sure, but ‘warm’ beer is inexcusable for humankind.

As they say, Save the Ales!