Contrary to popular belief, single unlaid men have plenty of options to score with women. Problem is, they almost all exist online. But if the usual surfing around for 15-second clips of free porn and desperate, immediate Casual Encounters on Craigslist isn’t getting you off properly, maybe you, single unlaid man, should try the alternative: finding a woman in prison…online!

Getting to know Women Behind Bars on relationship terms seems like a very bold, odd, uncomfortable situation — and guess what? IT IS, or so it seems.

From their gloriously Geocities-esque website:

Women Behind Bars (WBB) is a professional service which provides personal pages, pictures and profiles for women who are incarcerated in prisons all over America. The ladies featured on this site are looking for relationships.

Many of them have been abandoned by their friends, and families and they desire contact with the outside world.

Women Behind Bars host free web pages for ladies!

These female prisoners are looking for love, marriage, penpals, and a good solid relationship with men and women in the free world. We have had several marriages and countless relationships. These ladies do not have access to the internet and their only point of contact with the outside world is by postal mail.

Prison pen pals have existed since the dawn of time, with honest criminals (if that makes any sense) and empathizing outsiders bonding over letters, and in some cases, during visiting hours. But this site takes the concept to a whole new level: acting as an amateur MySpace, Women Behind Bars allows you to send messages through the site — for a price. And no, I’m not talking about the price you pay for flirting with lady danger, which could lead to lies, deceit and MURDER.

Users pay an amount towards every girl they want to contact — which leads to awesome mail-order wife vibes…complete with “add to cart”! — and wait impatiently for a response, if any. Since it’s their discretion who they contact and when, it’s a crapshoot out there, kids.

Your ultimate love/current inmate at a state prison could be out there, patiently waiting for release (literally and figuratively) and there’s only one way to find out if she is indeed yours for the taking.