Teens Getting Sluttier By Way of Cell Phones; Dudes High-Five…In Shame

Oh Fox News, how I love your hypocrisy — especially when it involves teens and nude pictures.

According to a FOXNews.com report, teenagers in Columbus, OH are using their cell phones to send risqué photos and videos of themselves in a Digital Age note-passing that kicks so much more ass than the intricately folded blather I use to scribble on a scrap of wide-rule.

Apparently not everyone sees the improvement, like the FBI:

“I’ve seen everything from your basic striptease to sexual acts being performed,” said Reynoldsburg police Detective Brian Marvin, a member of the FBI Cyber Crime Task Force of Central Ohio. “You name it, they will do it at their home under this perceived anonymity.”

You name it, they will do it. It sounds like this guy knows a lot about the Central Ohio cell phone kiddie porn ring. That’s an awkward job to have; going home to your wife every night.

“Hi, honey. How was your day?”

“Great! I intercepted a video of the quarterback donkey-punching the captain of the boy’s soccer team!”

“I want a divorce.”

See? I feel badly for the guy. But he’s not the only casualty in the cell phone picture passing; scandalous girls are using the long range tactic to impose on her crush’s “girlfriend-time.”

From the article:

Westerville Central High School senior Jerome Ray said he’s received… unsolicited messages, including one from a classmate while he was sitting with his girlfriend.

“A lot more girls are aggressive,” said Ray, 18. “Some girls are crazy and they are putting themselves out there.”

That poor son-of-a-bitch. We’ll pray for you, Jerome. Be brave.