Cool School: Kepler College

School: Kepler College
Location: Lynwood, Washington
Tuition: $1,667 per semester
Student Population: 40-50 students; 10 to 12 students per class.
Best class: Financial and Investment Cycles
(Covers the fundamentals of astro-economics, the astrology of the marketplace and investment, planetary cycles and their relationship to the stock market.)

Some considered it ‘a historic accomplishment at the dawn of a new millennium.’ Others ‘don’t like our use of ironic quote marks.’ In either case, March 10, 2000 marked the founding of Kepler College, the first college of astrological studies in the United States.

Kepler’s founders believe that it’s the right time to bring astrology back into the college setting [Editor's note: hey, at least it's not intelligent design.] Others disagree. ‘If I set up a college of tae kwon do, would they approve it?’ mocked Alvin Kwiram, vice provost for research at the University of Washington, in an interview with the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

Still, there is a bit of historical precedence here. Centuries ago astrology was the science used throughout the world as a means of interpreting and understanding reality and human existence. But after the steady development of conventional science, astrology was deemed a ‘pseudo-science’ and a form of superstition.

Them’s fighting words for the kids at Kepler, who hope to bring astrology up to the level of other previously mocked pseudo-sciences, including chiropractics and acupuncture. And aside from the whole astrological factor, Kepler does provide a traditional liberal arts education.

Will the school survive? The answer, as they say, is in the stars.

Wait, I take back that horrific, ill-advised pun. The answer is probably ‘f— no.’