AntiPoleez, a breath mint that hides nasty odors caused by alcohol, tobacco and certain types of food, is under fire in the media for its police-baiting name and marketing strategy. Conservatives are concerned this mint will influence more people (teens in particular) to drink and drive, since it covers up the smell of alcohol on your breath.

Are they right? Yes…and no.

Purchasing a breath mint in hopes that cops won’t notice how wasted you are behind the wheel is, well, one of the stupidest ideas a human could conjure up. You have to be extremely daft and/or righteously ballsy to think popping a breath mint will exempt you from taking a breathalyser if you’re doing 70mph in a 35mph zone, swerving between lanes. To even think that’s a plausible idea is to be an idiot.

Still, the media is right.

From AntiPoleez’s website:

AntiPoleez eliminates bad breath resulting from consumption of alcohol, tobacco and food. Unlike breath fresheners and gum AntiPoleez does not just mask the unwanted odor with heavy mint or fruit scent, it eliminates it and does not leave any other. The unique combination of components work to increase the consumption of breath producing molecules by the epithelium of the mucous coat of the upper respiratory passages resulting in clean, fresh breath. Despite the level of effect that AntiPoleez has against odor producing substances it does not contain any chemicals but only natural ingredients and no artificial flavors and complies with FDA regulations.

In short: the cops won’t notice how drunk you really are!

The marketing guru’s at AntiPoleez obviously know exactly what they’re doing; all that scientific babble is a poor disguise for their pitch, a humorous way to charm drinkers and drivers to be one in the same. Remember the controversy that surrounded I Love Blow, the “energy drink” named after the street slang for cocaine? Yeah, I’m sure it was all a coincidence — or a standard-snubbing marketing ploy.

Would I attempt to duck out of a DUI using AntiPoleez? Puh-leeze.