Penn State Library Masturbator Denies Charges

By Steve

Responding to recent charges leveled against him, Nittany Lion basketball player Stanley Pringle told police he was touching his penis but was not masturbating in the Pattee Library stacks last Thursday.

Pringle told police he has “a bad habit of putting his hand down his pants,” and demonstrated for the officer by placing his hand down the front of his sweatpants, according to the complaint.

“Why would I need to masturbate?” he told police. “This is how I chill, ma’am.”

The charges stem from an incident last Thursday at Pattee Library where a woman said an unknown man, whom police later identified as Pringle, sat behind her in the stacks section, attempted to start a conversation and then began masturbating.

To read the full HILARIOUS report visit Penn State Collegian’s story Lion Denies Charges.