Stalk Better: Facebook Tool Will Piss-Off Your Girlfriend(s)

As if the Internet wasn’t out to get you enough already, a new Facebook.com and cell phone application allows people to track you down, using GPS and your iPhone against you. The Social Network Integrated Friend Finder (SNIFF), created by Brian Levin, CEO of Useful Networks and the brains behind the American Idol voting system, works on any cell phone.

The product is currently popular in Scandinavia (home of men in ill-fitting jeans) and will be released in Britain soon.

It’s not here yet, but the idea that this even exists freaks me out. First of all, as a TimesOnline.com article notes, employees with company cell phones may be at the mercy of their boss’s tracking tendencies. (Goodbye strip club buffet.)

From the article:

“[E]mployees who are enjoying a long lunch or a secret liaison instead of the business meeting in their diary could also find themselves “sniffed out”. Mr Levin said: “If the employer is paying the phone bill and employees are aware they can be ‘sniffed’, at least everyone knows those are the rules.”

While private users will have the protection of being able to decide if they want someone to know their constant whereabouts, nothing’s going to stop your special someone from nagging you to get the service–or just “playing with” your phone, and signing your ass up.

And I don’t know about you, but some of my friends are pretty damn good at this Internet thing; and I’m guessing they’ll be able to follow you around, too. Do you know what kind of people are hackers? The kind of people that are stalkers. (We’ve all watched Law and Order…) You’re only defense is to leave your phone at your friend’s house in Queens, and not pick it up for two weeks (cough, cough).

Now I’m not a bad guy, and I’m not much of a cheater, but if there’s one thing I know about life, if you can afford an iPhone, you can afford more than one girlfriend…