(Almost) Free Ride: NY to DC for $1

With gas prices around $3-per-gallon, traveling for hours on a bus with an overweight ex-male-stripper as your seat-mate seems more like a quality way to travel. BoltBus knows this.

So, as Consumerist.com reports, BoltBus will begin competing with Greyhound and the various “Chinatown buses” that run this route by offering passengers $1-fares, in-bus WiFi, electrical outlets for laptops and DVD players, “panoramic views [and] the normal coach accouterments,” as their Website advertises. And they make the trek eight times a day.

Can taking the bus really be that great, you ask? No, not really.

BoltBus.com is just the latest in a line of discount bus companies to emerge on the East Coast market. And I’m sure you already know the deal: While a few first-comers can grab seats for the $1 one-way fare, most will go for around $20. Regardless, every fare comes with a “transaction or booking fee,” so it’s not really only $1, anyway. The WiFi sucks, or doesn’t exist at all. And by “panoramic view,” they mean the bus has f***ing windows. What a luxury!

They do offer 3-inches more legroom, which can make a difference. But it’s still a bus. And if someone unloads in the bathroom, the whole thing turns into a sh*t-box on wheels. And, unlike on trains or airplanes, which are vastly more expensive, you have to keep your boozing on the DL. “We have a zero tolerance policy for alcohol, drugs, weapons and unruly behavior,” states their FAQ. A bus without alcohol, drugs, weapons or unruly behavior? Screw that – I might as well fly.