10 Weird-Looking Dudes Who Scored in the Movies

One of the biggest perks in the movie industry for guys is being able to ‘act’ out sex scenes with the hottest women in Hollywood. Actors landing a major role in a R-rated drama are almost guaranteed a sex scene, no matter how oafish and awkward they are, if starring alongside a sexy actress. It’s science. I’m assuming that’s the main pull of being a ‘dramatic actor’ – poring over the scripts, looking for that ‘Penthouse Letters’ moment. Damn those thespians, acting and boning all eloquently!

The new crop of comedies have hearkened back to the sleazy 80s vibe of Porkys and Revenge of the Nerds, so the underdog element is back in full force, where fatsos and hopeless dorks link up with The Untouchable Hot Chicks on Campus. Impossible! Inconceivable! Inspiring!

The following dudes aren’t necessarily the worst looking ones out there, but they have all accomplished the unfathomable: scoring with girls out of their league. Only in Hollywood, folks.

Weird-looking dudes who scored big after the jump.

Billy Bob Thorton
In Monsters Ball with Halle Berry

If he didn’t slay Angelina Jolie first, I would’ve said this would never happen. I’m betting Billy Bob has a 18″ rod that shoots gleaming diamonds upon orgasm.

Billy Bob and Berry’s sex scene is also tied for hottest on the list.

View Halle Berry’s NSFW Monster’s Ball Sex Scene

James Spader
In Secretary with Maggie Gyllenhaal

James Spader, the 80’s incarnate, gets to spank (and spank on) Maggie Gyllenhaal. Here on Earth, Spader is far too creepy to get anything less than a restraining order from Gyllenhaal.

Dennis Quaid
In The Big Easy with Ellen Barkin

Yeah, he may have that Kevin Costner blue-collar vibe about him that 40-something women go nuts over, but in the real world, Quaid would only be doing body work on Barkin’s car.

Matthew Broderick
In Addicted to Love with Meg Ryan

Matthew Broderick seems like an ok guy, but he’s kinda dorky. Being married to Maxim’s Ugliest Woman in Hollywood doesn’t help his situation. And even though she’s forever pigeonholed as The Girl Next Door, there’s no way Broderick could score with a slutted-out Meg Ryan.

Viggo Mortensen
In History of Violence with Maria Bello

Viggo Mortensen, after having helped destroy Sauron, moved onto “History of Violence,” where he participated in one of the most graphic mainstream-movie sex scenes I have ever had the awkward pleasure of watching in a movie theatre that doesn’t charge by the minute. Our buddy Viggo bangs Maria Bello from the windows to the walls, till the sweat drips from his balls. Mae govannen Viggo! (LOTR fans know the elvish translation)

James Coburn
In Like Flint with Gila Golan

Coburn could be the weirdest looking dude since Stephen Hawking, but somehow he scored with every hot 60’s chick possible. He looks like a blond Steve Buschemi, which means he shouldn’t be allowed within 100 feet of any woman that’s not his mother – but he still went for the glory.

He did ‘em, and he did ‘em well.

Jonah Hill, Michael Cera and Christopher Mintz-Plasse
In Superbad with Martha MacIsaac, Emma Stone and Aviva.

I was a dork in high school and never even got to look at girls that hot. We all love a good underdog story, but sometimes the truth hurts less than pretending this would actually happen under any circumstance. Note to high school seniors: THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN EVER EVER EVER.

Seth Rogen
In Knocked Up with Katherine Heigl

Everybody’s favorite scruffy stoner got to ‘roll the dice’ with the large-breasticled Katherine Heigl. Sorry, but no chick could ever be THAT drunk.

Although the following clip isn’t the sex scene from Knocked Up it reiterates that Heigl is completely out of Rogen’s league in every sense of the word. She’s major.

Donald Sutherland
In Don’t Look Now with Julie Christie

Jack Bauer’s dad doesn’t have the good looks he passed down through the gene pool but my oh my did he score some primo ladies on-screen. Dude is still pulling tail in the twilight of his career/life!

Philip Seymour Hoffman

This is by far the most prime example of a weird looking dude scoring with an incredibly hot chick. Hoffman is a kick-ass actor in every way, but his physique resembles melted ice cream – and Marissa Tomei is a cherrybomb. Nowhere but the movies should this be a real life situation.

The sex scene is far to raunchy to embed (I’m 99% sure they are really having sex) so if you want to check it out click here (VERY NSFW). It’s intense, it’s hot, it’s…horrifying considering the bonee.