My Presidential Platform: A “Back The To Future Part 2″ Compliant America by 2015

By COED Staff

John McCain, Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton are all avoiding possibly the most important issue facing our great nation. We have had a road map for progress for decades now, yet the policy makers have been remiss in passing proper initiatives for change. I fear that if we do not act now, we will never see the Utopian future of tomorrow we were once fated to achieve.

My fellow Americans, that is why today, I announce my plan to make the United States of America “Back to the Future Part 2″ compliant by 2015.

In 1989, Stephen Spielberg and Robert Zemeckis showed us just where our country should be in 27 years from then. It was not just a vision of the future, but a promise. A promise that we were on course to live in a world with flying cars, robotic trash cans, holographic celebrity waiters, and hoverboards.

We are dangerously behind on a number of issues. First and foremost, the flying car is not where I’d like it to be. The folks at Moller International have their hearts in the right place, but their flying car prototypes just don’t quite hit the mark. The development of the hoverboard is even further behind.

One area I am excited to say we are ahead of the curve on is the holographic advertising seen in the film to advertise the movie “Jaws 19.” On the other hand, we are going to need to make “Jaws” sequels at a rate of 2.14 a year.

While these are concerns we all have, not everyone has the resources to advance the cause. Still, I believe every man, woman, and child can help make our country B2TFP2 compliant by 2015.

First, sign this petition to urge Nike to make the automatic-tying shoes worn by Marty McFly in the film. Then set a calendar reminder that on New Years Day, 2015, everyone should start wearing their jeans inside out. Finally, if someone could take the initiative to compile a sports almanac covering the years 1950-2000, that would be a huge help.

It is time we Americans put our differences aside and work towards the common goal of creating the society we were promised in 2015. Or else we could be doomed to live in an alternate timeline of anarchy, warfare, and racial divide. I fear it is already too late.