UK-based Oxfam International knows when the stars donate to charity, a deal must be struck. Celebrity charity thrives on doing good deeds in public – so what better way to strut your selflessness than to sell yourself on eBay?

Scarlett Johansson, love of my life, is offering up a meet and greet for a lucky fellow who decides to pony up enough cash for a good cause. And by good cause, I mean hooking up with Scarlett Johansson, which will never happen, but hey – it’s for charity too.

From the eBay listing:

Scarlett Johansson is a passionate and committed advocate and fundraiser and has been involved with Oxfam since 2005. In 2007 she traveled to Sri Lanka and India to meet young girls who have a chance to go to school against great prejudice and poverty, and she also met families affected by the Tsunami on the coastline of southern Sri Lanka. Now you can take part in this special experience with Scarlett and support a great cause!

The winning bidder will receive:

* Two tickets to the world premiere of He’s Just Not That Into You. The premiere location has not yet been determined but will be in either Los Angeles or New York this July.

* Chauffeured car service to the premiere

* Hair and makeup for one by Privé

* A meet and greet with Scarlett Johansson at the premiere

See? You – yes, you! – can be arm and arm with Johansson, laughing down the red carpet, blowing kisses at each other, holding hands and fun stuff like that. Or not.

Still, it’s for a good cause, and I’d be a major a**hole if I didn’t commend Johansson for doing her part to make the world a better place for our children, or something like that. She seems real nice – or maybe she’s just real hot. I get the two confused sometimes.

The auction ends on March 12, so save up every last penny, seeing that the current bid is over $12,000. But love don’t cost a thing, right? J-Lo said that.