Last Minute Valentine’s Day Ideas

By Hadley

Hey! It’s Valentine’s Day! Exclamation point!

If you’re anything like me, you find Valentine’s Day silly and not important in the grand scheme of a relationship. Still, you would be quite the a**hole to not show some sort of nice gesture on the holiday. If anything, mocking it is the best way to go. If your girl isn’t a humorless sack of ice in the lap, reserve a candlelit dinner at White Castle, or something to that extent. Do something fun and spontaneous that doesn’t require you or her stressing about money.

Or, you can order a gift today to be delivered in the near future. Who cares if it arrives late – it’s a gift. Who gets mad about receiving a gift, really?

If Valentine’s Day is synonymous with sex, then why not exploit it? KnickerPicker, an online dressing room, features 3 real models that you can deck out in various undergarments, thongs and all. Turn the models around, ogle them up and down – all for the purpose of picking an outfit for your woman to wear. It’s sexy without being trashy, and a great way to loosen any sexual taboos you both may harbor.

Want to get your girlfriend a gift that will leave her swooning? Order her a chocolate prosthetic leg. How can you resist the quality of a company named The Chocolate Experience, Inc.? This 8-pound, 2-foot sweetened appendage even comes with a red (or black) garter belt. SEXXXY.

If those three ideas don’t settle well, let her take the reigns. Nothing is wrong with tagging along, as long as neither of you are taking the day too seriously.

If all else fails, go see a romantic comedy, like Fool’s Gold. (Just kidding. Only see Fool’s Gold if you’re both incredibly high and can see it for free.)