Biggest NFL Distractions Leading To The Superbowl

With the writers’ strike going on for a veritable eternity, the NFL stepped in to supply us with enough drama and distractions that my girlfriend actually didn’t mind watching SportsCenter. Who was beating a hooker this week? Which QB was impregnating a super model today? What did Jessica Simpson do to fu** up my Fantasy Football team now?

The questions and drama were endless, but while NFL players were crashing million dollar cars and re-enacting “1 girl, no cup,” we took the time to point out a few of the most impactful.

Punt, Pass and Kick Booing
Oh no! Anna Grant, a 15 year old winner of the “Punt, Pass and Kick competition” got invited to accept her award at the start of last weeks Chargers vs Colts game. She wore a Patriots jersey on the field (in Indianapolis) and got booed by the crowd. Although she’s a kid and saw the humor in the situation, her story has been beaten to death by ESPN and the morning talk show circuit. But seriously, booing a 15 year old girl?! How drunk can you POSSIBLY be?

Randy Moss Beats Ladies
Rachelle Washington alleged Moss caused her serious injury in a Jan. 6 incident and denied her medical attention. He denies it. Tabloid mania ensues in perfect timing before one of the biggest games of the season, short of the Super Bowl. I officially throw the bullsh** card.

The Jessica Simpson Effect
First she shows up wearing a pink Tony Romo jersey and he has a melt down. Then they sneak off to Cabo and the Cowboys lose in the first round of the playoffs to a team they smoked twice before in the regular season. Maybe Simpson is bad luck…or maybe Romo is a choke job. Either way, Tony Romo is off of my Dynasty Fantasy team as long as he is with that skank. We have watched her destroy so many men, her vajayjay must really be like sunshine for all these guys to sacrifice all they have for her. Really, Jessica – email me, because I have nothing to lose.

Grant’s Revenge
Green Bay Packer running back Ryan Grant began his career as a New York Giant. When the Giants cut him and the Packers picked up his contract the rest is history. Now there is a revenge story for the media to latch on to leading up the this Sunday’s game. The Packers didn’t have it easy though. Their Fantasy RB depth chart was as active as a celebrity rehab center, but the guy they finally settled on was cut from the Giants’ practice squad…OUCH!

Peyton’s TV Commercials
Now that Peyton’s been knocked out off the playoffs we shouldn’t see him again until fall 2008. But with dozens of TV commercials (see all 25 here) filmed throughout his career I can almost guarantee we will see him during every commercial break throughout the rest of the playoffs. Peyton had a great season, don’t get me wrong, but maybe he could have done a few less commercials and work with Gonzales a little more. Yeah, yeah, Marvin Harrison was out for most of the season but he is unfortunately past his prime and the Colts should have been prepared.

I know, Peyton: Sony TV’s are awesome, DirectTV rules, and I love Oreos too – but get your timing right on the short slant first and THEN hit the studio.

Eli’s Weather Jinx
With temps expected to be in the teens for this Sunday’s Giants vs Packers game it has been well reported that Eli Manning cannot preform in crappy weather. In games where the weather is in the 40’s a below his QB rating is a dismal 63.0%, 31 points lower than his ranking is games above 50 degrees. Eli is not his brother, he is the “special” brother. Eli makes THE most retarded looks in the huddle ever, he reminds me of Jeffy from “The Ringer.” Eli, you need a little less time watching your brother on TV and a little more time playing in the snow – toughen up or something.

T.O.’s tears
Terrell Owens cried like a little baby after the Cowboys lost to the Giants. The video has been all over the internet and people have been talking about it just as much as this weekend’s football games. There’s no room for emo in football.

Chargers’ Health
I wonder how many more times ESPN will let us know how the Chargers quarterback Phillip Rivers, leading rusher L.T. and end Antonio Gates are injured leading up to the game against the Patriots. Yes, it is big news but its also a big distraction. The media is more interested in the injured list than who is actually on the roster. That has to suck if you are one of the backups.

No Tailgating at the Superbowl
Real sports fans are up in arms that Phoenix Stadium has banned tailgating leading up to the February 3rd Super Bowl.

Osi Umenyiora Poops On Girls?
With Leather reports that NY Giants Defensive End Osi Umenyiora likes giving models Cleveland steamers. They have a statement from a model that is said to have taken part in these smelly activities. Probably not the best news to break a few days before the biggest Giants game in years.

Titan’s PacMan Beats a Stripper
PacMan Jones…keep out of strip clubs! That is what got you into this mess in the first place. When you are that rich, order out for titties. They will come to you. If I can get toilet paper delivered to my apartment, a millionaire football player can get titties. PacMan, you helped cost your team one of their better shots at the playoffs in recent history. The Titans get forced out of the playoffs, so in celebration PMJ beats a stripper and supposedly there is camera evidence. PacMan – enough!

Getting Lost in Tom Brady’s Eyes
Alert the media – Tom Brady is hooking up with Gisele, potentially impregnating her, she possibly got an abortion, but he definitely got Bridget Moynahan knocked up and a hottie pissing match occurred for all to see. And he STILL went 16-0…may we all have distractions like that!

The Tuna Going to Miami
Miami had a terrible season fraught with a multitude of distractions. From trading their only decent offensive player, Chris Chambers, to Nick Saban jumping ship in record timing – the Dolphins have completely dismembered their management and hired Bill Parcells to put it all back together. While trying to go 16-0 was a distraction to the Pats, trying to NOT go 0-16 was a very real distraction to Miami. Then, to top it all off, Ricky Williams gets released from his suspension. The NFL office was probably like, “At this point, it could only help!” Yeah…they were wrong. “Puffy” Williams ran for a couple of yards then tore his shoulder. Thanks for coming, Ricky – here’s a blunt.

HGH and ‘Roids
Mike Golic decided (right before the league championship games) to announce he used steroids in the 80’s…. wait, why do we care? We should be more consired that the Patriots Rodney Harrison and the Chargers Shawne Marriman were suspended recently for doping.

Tony Dungy Leaving Indie
Will he stay, will he go or will he retire? No one knows but he’s definitely trying to steal the Pat’s thunder now that the Colts have been booted from the playoffs.

What has been the Biggest NFL Distractions Leading To The Superbowl