Milo Ventimiglia is my Hero!

January 17, 2008 - 9:30 am By COED Staff

milo hayden

I’m not the greatest-looking guy, and if I was even marginally talented in some capacity, I wouldn’t be a British Lit major. I am a dork who obsesses over comic books, playing Madden and downloading celebrity porn from Limewire. I’ve accepted my level of the inter-collegiate caste system.

But then Milo Ventimiglia came along.

Not sure if Ventimiglia has some kind of palsy, or whether he attended the Sly Stallone School of Facial Expressions, but he has that whole Popeye side-mouth thing going. He is 31 (ancient by Hollywood standards), relatively unattractive from one dude to another, and has very little true acting talent from what I have seen (I’m not hating…really!). And yet, this man who I now idolize more than John Wayne and Jesus, is tapping Hayden Leslie Panettiere.

I know that everyone was writing about that we was older and what about the age difference, blah, blah, blah…no one stopped to say, “Niiiiiiiice job Milo!” Have we as a society got so politically correct, that there is no longer room for the celebratory “good game” tap?

Milo, you have shown me so much.

Being cute to my mom and having minor nerve damage from a little league incident is NOT debilitating at all. There is hope for me and others like me. With your guidance and inspiration, I can one day aspire to touch the hottest girl on the planet in her naughty places and not just on the Hayden doll that I made of old teddy-bears and some US Weekly magazines. (Damn you all for judging!)

In all seriousness, Milo…we need to hangout. I made a Second Life character after you and now all the machinima ho’s want a piece of me. In just a few short days you have shown me the way and the light, and I am not sure how I can ever repay you.

Vive la Ventimiglia!

Christian says:

January 17, 2008 at 2:15 pm

Great article! Hilarious and so very true.

Christian

billy bob says:

January 17, 2008 at 2:52 pm

If he can hit THAT – there is TRULY hope for the rest of us…without a doubt

Ruben says:

January 17, 2008 at 8:16 pm

She isnt even that hot – you all makin a big deal over nothin

Pooti-Tang says:

January 17, 2008 at 8:19 pm

Dear Ruben,

You are either:
- Hayden’s mom
- Retarded
- Gay
- Retarded gay-guy

WTF are you talking about?!?! She is one of the hottest girls your retarded ass will ever see!!!

Seriously…this Milo guy is an all-star for even being considered to be dating her. You are a tool who should not be allowed internet access.

a says:

January 18, 2008 at 9:16 am

People and celebrities with big age gaps have been getting together for years. These two are no way a bigger deal than Brad Pitt dating Juliette Lewis when she was 16 and there was a big age difference there too. At least Milo is way better in every way than that Stephen Colletti guy Hayden was dating for a while and recently broke up with. But you got a couple things wrong in this article like Milo’s age wrong lol. You should have looked Milo up in wikipedia it could have helped answer some questions.

cora white says:

January 20, 2008 at 10:37 pm

good film,good artical,good players….

amy says:

January 31, 2008 at 8:07 pm

Milo is gorgeous. You obviously have no eyes or need to ask girls. Hayden is pretty but she’s got an ugly body…like a midget. She’s all disproportional. You also can’t compare guy vs. girl beauty. Girls have pretty hairstyles and makeup and pretty clothes. If a guy is as good looking as Milo then you got to realize if you translate that into girl beauty then he’s more like a Giselle Bundchen which makes him much too good looking for Hayden. BTW. He was born with his lip affliction and it’s hardly noticeable except in Heroes when they make him do those stupid scream scenes all the time. I never noticed it in Gilmore Girls.