Girdles for Guys…Why?

Between bra stuffing for girls and crotch stuffing for guys lies the worst tool for false marketing: girdles.

By Mike

I understand the need to tuck your flab away, people – but when did, uh, eating less and exercising become such an arduous task, or at least one that’s put by the wayside for a girdle?

My point of all this nonsense is this. Scary, huh? Horrifying if you ask me.

A few months ago COED spoke of the anti-wonders of six-pack surgery; with male girdles (“merdles” is you’re trendy) on the rise, important questions now must be asked: are men getting to be as self-conscious about their bodies as women, in the stereotypical sense?

Do certain women really want their men to be equal with their appearance, enough where drastic steps should and will be taken to look “better”?

To be honest, I don’t think I know anybody who rocks a girdle (if there actually is a way to “rock” a girdle). Maybe it is the last bastion for obese people with low self-esteem and no other choice (excepting the old “be healthier” theory).

Healthy is far from looking “perfect.” What does “looking perfect” even mean, anyhow? It’s totally ridiculous. For every muscle-bound doofus on the front of some random beefcake magazine there is a flabby man hoisting up his merdle in hopes of looking presentable to women.

Take a look at the picture of the man in a girdle above – does he look happy?

More importantly, does he look like he needs a girdle to begin with? Trick question: nobody does. I don’t care how pudgy you may be, hiding it won’t solve the problem. To hell with new-age exercise trends and diets – get on the treadmill, fatty.