After spending the last few months speaking at universities in the Northeast, there’s one question that keeps coming up. (No, it’s not “who farted?”)

“What’s the best way to approach women at school?”

Fret not, young ones. Here’s how to get love in three everyday , mundane areas on campus. And, unlike alcoholism, you can solve this in just five easy steps!

1. Find her when she’s alone. It’s not as creepy as it sounds. You stand a greater chance of meeting her when she’s by herself than with friends. She’ll be more receptive to your charms.

2. Observe something about her. What is she doing? What is she wearing? What is she eating? What’s she reading? Observations lead to conversation.

3. Start talking. Now that you’ve summed her up, talk! Use what you have observed as a starter ( not in a stalker, I – know- your – underwear – color kind of way). Don’t worry about saying the right thing; think less, talk more.

4. Listen. What? Seriously, you need to hear what she’s saying. Her conversation clues you into what you need to say next.

5. Remember, it’s GREAT to meet her. If you know you will see her again, tell her that it was great to meet her. She’ll be thinking about you. If this is a random meeting in a place that you may not see her again for awhile, set up the next meeting. Suggest hanging out or studying together.

Now that you’ve mastered those steps, test ‘em out! Here are three places to get started:

The Cafeteria. What you need to do is walk right over to the table when she’s alone and ask her if you could share the table. After sitting down, look at what’s she’s eating. “Is the meat loaf good?” works. “What’s that smell?” is not so hot.

The Library. This approach is all about the walk-by. You need to find where the girl is sitting… and then walk on by and smile. If she smiles back, make another lap like you are looking for a seat. Then ask her if you can sit down at her table. If you get this far, the rest is easy. Just ask her about what she’s studying, the book she has open, her major. Don’t offer any “pills” to keep her awake, however. That’s not cool.

Your Class. Get to class early and hang outside the room (pretend to be on a call). When she arrives, see where she sits… and go over, smile, look at the seat next to her and ask if anyone is sitting there. From that point, it’s all about small talk. “Did you do the homework?” is a good one. Keep it friendly and simple; you’ll see her again in class. All you’re doing is laying the foundation. Honestly, that’s it. If she starts asking you questions you’re in. She’ll be interested in you if you show interest in her. Ask her to hang out after this happens.