The Krankcycle: Another Reason to Avoid the Gym

Krankcycle

I’ve went to the gym a total of four times in my entire life, and never plan on going again. I understand the act of great courage that goes into being overweight and exercising at the gym, in the public.

In my case, I can’t get over the fact that I feel like a total idiot next to ripped dudes that can bench my body weight with one arm tied behind their back.

So I stay at home, flabby in the mid-section, and play Guitar Hero III on Hard (not Expert…yet). That’s how I get my feeling of self-satisfaction.

The most recent innovation in exercising is Krankcycling, a form of working out that resembles mixing batter in a bowl. Johnny Goldberg (“Johnny G.” to the hip cats), who previously created Spinning, is the developer of this upper-body workout. It’s sure to do well in California, home of EZ-living gym rats looking for the next big trend in exercising.

According to an article in the New York Times, the Krankcycle is for experts only:

“When Krankcycles first showed up, people who weren’t very athletic didn’t really understand them,” said Brian Hannah, a fitness director at two Club One outlets. “But members who were more athletic and use the gym more often realized what they did. They call it a ‘spinner for the upper body.’”

Mr. Hannah is right: I don’t understand the Krankcycle. I don’t understand how it’s ushering in a new era of exercising, nor do I “get” the concept of spinning my arms in a contraption when I can masturbate and get the same effect (with better results). My forearms put Popeye to shame.

  • Rick says:

    I feel compelled to comment on such a biased and un-educated piece of journalism (I apologise to any other journalists that may get to read this).Why would a person who has been “to the gym a total of four times in my entire life, and never plan on going again” be given the task of reporting on a topic they have no knowledge of nor do they appear interested in learning about it either? This goes to whoever distributes these reporting jobs,why?

    The only reference made to other opinions of the KrankCycle was from a person not with opposing views to the journalist,but exactly the same.What is achieved by that? I can understand having opposing views in a report,it would make for constructive reading,to show “both sides of the same coin” but to show a report of equally poor lack of education,knowledge & professionalism reeks of un-profeesionalism.As for the writer’s final line,that merely shows his lack of class…and possibly age too.

Tell us what you're thinking by leaving a comment...




COVER STORY

COED’s Guide to Defeating The Cock-Blocking Roomate COED’s Guide to Defeating The Cock-Blocking Roomate

It’s happened to every college guy. You’re out drinking, you meet a nice girl,... 

Demotivational Mayhem: 226 Demotivational Posters Demotivational Mayhem: 226 Demotivational Posters

Everybody’s seen ‘em and unless you’re a cyborg (which you very well may be…)... 

South Park’s (Too Many Minorities) Not My Water Park [Video & Lyrics] South Park’s (Too Many Minorities) Not My Water Park [Video & Lyrics]

Out of the myriad of things wrong with today’s society, we need to thank Matt... 

Read More Posts From This Category

GIRLS

The 50 Sexiest Calendars of 2010 [Photos] The 50 Sexiest Calendars of 2010 [Photos]

Where the hell did this year go? 2009 blew by faster than Carrie Prejean’s... 

Ashley Greene and The Week That Was: November 16th – 20th Ashley Greene and The Week That Was: November 16th – 20th

Twilight super-hottie Ashley Greene joined the celebrity nudie picture club when... 

The 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show & Afterparty (253 Photos) The 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show & Afterparty (253 Photos)

If sexiness was flammable, NYC would have burned to the ground last night as the... 

Read More Posts From This Category
The Price is Right’s Rich Fields Gone Wild [VIDEO]

The Price is Right’s Rich Fields Gone Wild [VIDEO]

Besides the local news weatherman, the TV game show announcer is hands down the most annoying of all television personalities. Luckily for us, we have the ability to change the channel or hit the mute button on the remote. But as you will see in this clip, Rich Fields’ family is not so fortunate.