Top 7 Locations to Meet Single Girls

The following article satire is brought to you by the folks at COED:

I often find myself asking myself (is that a run on?) “where is the perfect location for meeting girls?”

Sure, clubs are often the first place that comes to mind, but my cute pick-up lines don’t always work well when attempting to talk over loud, fist-pumping music to orange-skinned girls from Staten Island.

A desperate fella like me must suck it up and meet girls the hard way: in real life.

Fragrance Stores

Places like Bath & Body Works sell bath oils, shower gels, body lotions, you name it – all in cute, pre-packaged assortments, with a ton of different fragrances, all with cute sounding names. Women can’t get enough of this stuff, and they can’t get enough of anybody willing to let them geek out over it. Patience, in this case, is a virtue indeed.

Warning: this can be kinda psycho, making you a high 7 on the creep-o-meter.

Franchise Coffee Shops

Personally, I think it’s kinda dumb to frequent a shop like Starbucks that just sells coffee. Isn’t that what donut shops are for? But after a long, “tough” day of shopping, women love to drop all their bags and relax with a coffee/tea. They’re bored, tired and in dire need for some stress-free conversations.

Try asking your certain lady if her shopping “war” was successful – then be prepared to spend the next hour reviewing her “captives.” Grab a coffee and keep awake for the tales.

Franchise Bookstores

All bookstores work as a great locale to meet girls, but the big franchises attract women like a magnet (think Barnes & Noble, Borders). Especially on “dating nights” and weekends, when a woman who doesn’t have a date that week can easily occupy herself for an entire evening, book-browsing.

Clothing Stores

You’re there, looking for a gift for your sister (or your cousin, or your niece – someone around her age). And “poor you” – you just have no idea what to get. Do you think that maybe, that cute girl you just walked up to, could help you find the right gift? It’s worth a try.

Health Food Stores

For some reason, health food stores have some of the best looking women as customers. Maybe it’s because good-looking girls want to take care of their looks, and so follow a natural, healthy diet. I’m exactly sure what the reason is, but you can bet dollars to donuts there will be great-looking women going there. Try the after-work rush.

Bars & Nightclubs

Women will be knocking into you, touching you, crushing you – all night. You’ll get a constant series of perfect moments, for opening conversations…hopefully with the girls of your choice!

The Mega-Mall

Call me stereotypical, but women love to shop. Any time you go to the mall, there’s bound to be lots of women there – some married, some thirty-something and single.

Warning: hawking around for ladies at your local mall may draw you comparisons to a teenage boy. If you’re fine with a bit of pointing and laughing at your expense find your way towards the one lady not laughing and go for it. You’re desperate – deal with it.