Hey, Slacker – Get a Job!

It looks like you left something off that back-to-school list of yours in September, champ: money.

Whether it’s paying for tuition or a Bud Light at Cryan’s, you’re going to need cash. While some have the luxury of parental support or a paid internship, most only have three frightening options: prostitution, refund checks…or getting a job. With the first two being (sort of) out of the question, cash-strapped students actually need legitimate employment to suffice.

Now, note the legitimate and squash the wild ideas, because the following are not options: model, zookeeper, photographer, archaeologist (the fun, Indiana Jones variety), radio personality, novelist, video game tester, professional poker player and every possibility that involves the word “pirate” or “ninja.” It’s not happening, so don’t waste your money on the nunchucks.

With all the exciting possibilities being unrealistic student jobs, the thought of flipping burgers might have you scared. But don’t be: a college job can be a blessing in disguise. Obviously, your motive is to make money, but you can amount to more with the right job. The key is making the job work for you.

You’ll be surprised by what people are being paid for, and these aren’t elaborate, exotic jobs. Ideal for students, these are commonplace places of employment that save time by converting daily tasks into one that rewards with a paycheck. Feeling flabby? Get physical and take a job that’ll keep you active. Trouble studying? A quiet office is the perfect place to hit the books. You can even get paid while boosting your social life at bars and clubs.

Exhale in relief, because there are alternatives to the burger-and-fries jobs everyone dreads. There’s more to student employment than stocking shelves and serving drinks, so when your search begins, keep your needs in mind and try applying at places like these:

Gyms, health clubs, tanning salons and spas: Attractive because you’ll have an opportunity to exercise and earn a buck simultaneously, the fitness world wants fit people, and nothing helps the health industry’s image like a bunch of young, athletic adults working away on all that fancy equipment. Plus, gyms are open all day.

Pools: Large schools have them for student use, and almost every community has one. The Saved By The Bell crew became lifeguards in college, so why can’t you?

Libraries: There’s bound to be one on your campus or in the neighborhood. The quiet environment is perfect for studying, and you’re never in short supply of reading material, not to mention computers or copy machines (for personal use).

Banks: Tellers are always on demand, and local branches will work around student schedules. Slow hours translate into study time, and I ask you this: Is there a better place to balance your checkbook? While you’re working, you may gain some fiscal prowess, too.

Nightclubs, music venues, radio stations: Don’t expect a job in the limelight, but as a promoter, you couldn’t ask for a better nightlife. Free backstage access to concerts and clubs, a casual dress code and the rare chance to meet the stars. The same can be said about sports venues and stadiums.

None of the above hiring?

Nonprofits and law firms are a great source of part-time jobs and will shine on your resume come graduation day. If spending your paycheck is inevitable, try working where you shop: For example, Victoria’s Secret employees get 30 percent off everything. That’s hot. And if you can tolerate the food service world, why not work for the free meal incentive?

Remember, a useful job utilizes time wisely. It also forces you to do something you wouldn’t necessarily motivate yourself to do like study or get off campus. More importantly the work should be tolerable; there’s no sense in being miserable.

Sure, you may not be working as a model, zookeeper or ninja assassin, but you’re bound to find a job that you’ll enjoy, something that’s not so scary after all.