What Stinks? Taser Parties

By John

You know what stinks? Ladies who put fashionable trends before protection.

Remember the old days when your mom would push you and your father out the door for a few hours to host a “Tupperware party”? Yeah, that was kind of lame – but at least it wasn’t even half as lame as hosting a “Taser party,” the new trend all the ladies are following these days.

Now, before I get lambasted/tasered: I’m all about women’s safety. If some creepy dude is accosting a lady, tasers, pepper spray, rape horns, shrill yelling and biting are all good methods to distract their assailant. Sadly, this is not the point of Taser parties: these holler-if-you-hear-me lady congregations are all about wine, cheese and cutesy tasers that go well with this winter’s fashion.

Donning a hot pink, Swarovski-crystal decorated taser makes a mockery out of a real, very dangerous issue; calling it a “playful way to raise awareness” also doesn’t fly, seeing that it takes a wide array of hors d’oeuvres, bad lounge music and a couture sensibility to get these types of girls even mildly interested in protecting themselves.

Bone-headed fashionistas: quit playing Sex, Violence and the City and pack a normal taser – even if it clashes with your pumps.