Tricks, Not Treats!

By Steve

Trick or Treat!

King-sized candy bars, McDonald’s Gift Certificates or dollar bills – these are all winning Halloween treats. But what about the tricks? The terrible stuff?

I don’t trick-or-treat anymore these days, although I should; but I can think back to a time when I received some pretty terrible tricks.

Here are the 5 worst things you could receive on Halloween.

Fruit
Thanks for considering my health (I love raisins) on this glorious, sugar-driven holiday, 90-year-old neighbor who smells like formaldehyde.

Used condom
Will come in the form of a gag by the douchy, slightly older next-door neighbor. In an ironic twist of fate he will grow up to be the truck driver he dressed up as on Halloween.

Obscure Candy Bars
While Clark bars and Zagnuts are pretty tasty, I get the feeling that the company that makes them have been out of business for over two decades. A vintage Mary Jane from 1952? No thanks.

Canned goods
I’ve actually received a can of Tuna before! That can of tuna was exactly what I needed to cure my sugar fix!

Unwrapped candy corn potentially covered in bird flu
Unsanitary and begs the question, why do they even make candy corn anymore? It tastes like ass!