Wonderbras Are Wonderful Sometimes

I’m all about the truth – truth in relationships, truth in politics, truth in what a girl is hiding underneath her undergarments. The act of stuffing should be exclusive to Santa Claus and Thanksgiving.

The Wonderbra was designed to make women feel better about their lack of rack by padding around their mini-rounds. How is that any better than me stuffing a sock around m’thing? It’s false advertising for sure; then again I truly feel for women who are only judged on the size of their womanhood.

It’s a Catch-22, this situation.

While I will never be able to crack the code that is the bosom – we must, we must, we must increase/decrease our bust - I do have a word of advice for any woman feeling down on their endowment: f*** it. Men who resemble pot-bellied pigs with receding hairlines have no right taking down to your tiny tits – especially when they have a tiny dick.

Confidence (not arrogance) is key for both genders. If wearing a wonderbra makes you feel sexier – and your sassy and confident attitude proves it – go for yours, ladies. I’m an ass-man anyways…

…Did that just contradict everything I said? Oh the hell with it – my point is what’s attractive depends on the person. Flaunt whatever you have and you’ll get supporters. Promise.