The 10 Best Sports Jobs for Non-Athletes

A few weeks back we honored the sad, lonely lives of water boys and sparring partners; this week we give props to the most exciting (and highest paying) jobs for non-athletes in sports. Some of these professions require skill, finesse and a past-career in the sport while others…well, you’ll see.

Honorable mention: the beer guy. Yeah, it’s amazing to offer up beer to rabid sports fans, but you don’t get to drink any brews on the job. Well, at least legally.

Check out the Top 10 after the jump!

10. NFL Team Mascot

A wacky costume and team spirit are the only necessities needed to become a team mascot. While the job itself is as easy as pumping a crowd up, some fans hate their mascots…and some mascots hate rival mascots. It’s an industry more dangerous than it seems.

9. Zamboni driver

Get this: you cruise around on the ice before, during and after a hockey game, leaving it all glossy and shiny. Everybody loves the Zamboni driver; too bad it doesn’t pay too well.

8. Cheerleader

Is cheerleading a sport? Sure, if you consider clapping, dancing and being all-around peppy with your skirt up for the world to see a sport. Negative: leaves most participants dumb as bricks.

7. Ring Girl

Self-explanatory, and the easiest job on the list by far. Hot chicks walk around the ring holding up numbers denoting the round (knowledge of basic math required).

6. First Base Coach

A great view of the action, gossiping with your squad when they reach first base and not much strategy involved – the life of a first base coach is ace.

5. Women’s Gymnastics Coach

Considering a large amount of professional women’s gymnastics coaches are men, you get to sit around and watch barely-legal women flip, contort and on occasion, straddle balance beams. Unfortunately, dismounting is a key phrase in the sport. Pedophiles need not apply.

4. Golf Commentator

How many words does a Golf commentator say in 18 holes of Golf – nine? Lucky bastards.

3. Boxing Promoter

According to Don King, being a boxing promoter means you dress up in snazzy suits and give props to your boxer. With great enthusiasm. Sounds stupenderendous!

2. G.M.

General Manager is the obvious choice for Ultimate Sports Job, with loads of money at your disposal, complete control over your entire team and bragging rights to the other General Managers if your franchise wins – unless you don’t. General Managers get criticized almost as often as coaches these days, thanks to egomaniacs like Theo Epstein. And it’s for that reason – and that reason only – that General Mangers are second place in best non-athlete sports job to…

1. Third Base Coach

Ever notice when a player slides into home plate and gets called out nobody calls out the third base coach for poor decision-making? That’s because third base coaches are bulletproof. When a player rounds the corner they wave in the glory of a win – or at the least, they can watch the game for the most exciting viewpoint available. And how the f*** do you strategize running from third to home? Even the first base coach has more options; third just says “go for it!” or “not yet…hang here at chat with me about how cool it might be if you score.” Best. Job. Ever.