Brew Review: Miller Chill

Ever heard of a “chelada”? Not enchilada, although those are really rad…but that’s neither here or there.

A chelada is a Mexican style of beer that’s flavored with lime and salt (Corona with salt, basically). The drink is popular in Mexico and Costa Rica but has yet to become a hit in America. The day where cheladas are popular in the U.S. has been set back a decade or so with the release of Miller Chill, a poor excuse for a beer.

Miller Chill apes that mask-the-awful-taste-with-limes-and-salt formula cheladas have down pat – with an unfortunate twist. Chill contains the flavor of artificial limes and salt that leaves an aftertaste similar to flat Sprite lingering in your mouth.

Miller Chill tastes like sour soda.

Usually my preference for a certain kind of beer is nonexistent – I enjoy Negro Modello as much as I do a bootleg brand like Schlitz, when the occasion hits – but Chill is plain ill. Drinking it to get wasted is much more difficult than regular brews due to its kiddie-sweet flavor. After convincing my bro to share a six-pack of the stuff with me he opted out after one-and-a-half beers.

As we speak Miller Chill sits in my fridge, never to be touched again.

If you must season your beer with loads of fruit, spices and whatnot you probably don’t like beer. Coronas are the only exception to the rule.

Considering that Miller created the champagne of beers I’m lost on why they would even bother making the Zac Efron of beers.

Miller Chill Stats

Tastes like: an adolescent mistake

Smells like: synthetic fruit dropped in skunked beer

Alcohol content: irrelevant; taste too “girly” to be worth drinking