Last-Minute Halloween Costumes

Face it: you suck at buying or preparing a quality costume for Halloween. It happens.

To make matters worse you are the third-wheel to an “adorable couple” who are 100% in tandem with their costumes, making you even lamer by comparison.

In the event you want to ditch the couples on Halloween night you still have your friends to worry about. The vast majority of them are too douchy to even attempt wearing a costume for fear it will make them look lame in front of scantily-clad chicks – which of course they already do.

What to do?

You gotta be crafty.

You gotta look your best for the ladies on the most scandalous of nights.

You gotta use your limited imagination, son – or follow these tips for last-minute costume ideas.

Super quick last-minute Squid:

Do you work at a lame-o office? A roll of brown paper, double sided tape, CD’s, manila folders and a binder clip is all you need to create this borderline-cool Squid costume. A roll here, a cut there and some crafty taping action will get you all prepped up.

Toilet-paper Mummy:

If you don’t realize how to pull this one off maybe you shouldn’t go out on Halloween at all.

Low-budget Han Solo:

Toy gun. Boots. Brown vest. Tool belt. V-neck shirt. Brown pants. Voila – Han Solo.

If you have a few hours to spare on Halloween day then go all out within reason.

Hipster:

Your sisters tightest pair of pants, your mom’s shoes and your grandma’s knit sweater. You will look like an idiot. You will look like a hipster. Congrats.

Yeah I know – these ideas are lame. That’s what you get for waiting till 6pm Halloween night to put together a costume. Just don’t be one of those morons who go as “themselves,” ok?